Mad cows

Britney Spears is talking to Heather Mills McCartney, and Kerry Katona (played by a man?)

Britney Hi I’m Britney Spears, and welcome to the first meeting of Mothers Against Defamation.

Heather I’m Heather Mills Mcartney, and I thought we were Celebrity Organised Women.

Kerry I’m Kerry and will you to shut up, you’re both right we’re mad cows.

Britney It’s terrible the way the press treats us just because we might be horse pill popping, baby hostage taking, who compulsively flash their lady gardens..

Heather Or just because we marry aging 60s rockers, to offer them one legged rumpy pumpy, in exchange for their millions.

Kerry And spending the whole 9 months of my pregnancy monged off my tits on aftershock, cocaine, and that bottle of shoe polish I found in my cupboard, doesn’t make me an unfit mum.

Heather Hey girls I invited another celebrity mum, whose been getting stick.

Kerry Madonna?

Brtiney Jordan?

Heather No that German polar bear who ate her babies.

There is a roar from off stage they run off

I liked the concept of this but because the way the dialogue was set out it wasn't clear who was saying what.

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Britney It’s terrible the way the press treats us just because we might be horse pill popping, baby hostage taking, who compulsively flash their lady gardens..

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If you read it quickly it could be:

Britney, It’s terrible the way the press treats us...

as if Britney is being spoken to directly. It would've been clearer as:

BRITNEY: It’s terrible the way the press treats us...

Also, the punchline was lost on me as I'd never heard the polar bear story. I'll let others comment on that but overall I thought this pretty good. Kerry played as a man is inspired.

thanks, curse you mac and pc incompattability youu destroy my page setting. it's an old news story, I wanted to get some feedback on topical stuff I ahven't been bale to sell to see if I need to make changes.

I quite like it, but I thought the opening was a bit flabby. Would have been better opening straight into dialogue IMO. Could have been a show like 'Loose Women' *shudder* - just go straight into something like "I'm so and so, she's so and so, and welcome to Mad Cows!"

Quite liked:
And spending the whole 9 months of my pregnancy monged off my tits on aftershock, cocaine, and that bottle of shoe polish I found in my cupboard, doesn’t make me an unfit mum

But I also think it was a bit formulaic the way the celebs introduced themselves and their problems. Better if they had an argument and the thin veneer of TV presenting was stripped away as they slagged each other off. Or something like that.

I apologise if someone has already written this but I can't read your sketches as they aren't formatted correctly. Should be something like this

BRITNEY:
Hi I’m Britney Spears, and welcome to the first meeting of Mothers Against Defamation.

HEATHER:
I’m Heather Mills Mcartney, and I thought we were Celebrity Organised Women.

KERRY:
I’m Kerry and will you to shut up, you’re both right we’re mad cows.

BRITNEY:
It’s terrible the way the press treats us just because we might be horse pill popping, baby hostage taking, who compulsively flash their lady gardens..

HEATHER:
Or just because we marry aging 60s rockers, to offer them one legged rumpy pumpy, in exchange for their millions.

KERRY:
And spending the whole 9 months of my pregnancy monged off my tits on aftershock, cocaine, and that bottle of shoe polish I found in my cupboard, doesn’t make me an unfit mum.

HEATHER:
Hey girls I invited another celebrity mum, whose been getting stick.

KERRY:
Madonna?

BRITNEY:
Jordan?

HEATHER:
No that German polar bear who ate her babies.

THERE IS A ROAR FROM OFFSTAGE. THEY RUN OFF

I liked it on paper but the performance would either make it or kill it.

thanks for the re-edit it does look better!