OK, the next instalments piped in with some trepidation. I've put up the sand bags and I'm dug in. Do your worst 
It includes some modifications.
A Greek Comedy
By
Roscoff
[Hermes played by a male Artemis a female]
Narrator: Welcome listeners to the paradise that is Mount Olympus. Here we can give you unrestricted access to the daily life of the Greek gods. We begin in Zeus’ private chamber. Artemis and Hermes Zeus’ faithful servants are attending his immeasurable majesty who has just snatched forty winks.
[Sfx- Very loud snoring. Enter Hermes and Artemis whispering.]
Hermes: He’s still sleeping.
Artemis: Go on, how can you tell?
Hermes: And he’s dribbling. When he wakes up we’re gonna be in dead trouble. Or just dead.
Artemis: We can’t die remember.
Hermes: In a lot of pain then.
Artemis: Look, Zeus’ thunderbolts are worth a fortune to the mortals. Three more he said and we’re in.
Hermes: Ok, but this is the last.
Artemis: Just imagine it Hermes. Me and you in the Big Brother house.
Hermes: It’s not fair. The mortals don’t have to run the risk of eternal damnation to get on the show. They don’t know how lucky they are.
Artemis: Mind you, they do have death
Hermes: And disease.
Artemis: And Dale Winton.
Hermes: Yeh, death, disease, Dale Winton. Bummer.
Artemis: You wouldn’t want to be locked in the same room as Hades with his bad breath now would you?
Hermes: Rather that than Poseidon, or Dale Winton.
Artemis: Only because you've got a fish allergy.
Hermes: Oh gods he’s waking up!
Artemis: Hermes get over here quick!
[Sfx Zeus waking up.]
Zeus: [yawning] Artemis, Hermes. What are you doing?
Hermes: Just going about our daily chores your omnipotence.
Zeus: Right you two, what news from the front?
Artemis: The front sire?
Zeus: Yes the front. Did what’s his name, general thingammy make peace with the Trojans?
Hermes: Well he left a peace offering alright but…….
Zeus: Good. I’ll pop down for the party I think. Now, who shall I be today?
Artemis: There is no party sire. It’s over.
Zeus: Over!
Hermes: It finished quite a while ago.
Zeus: How long is quite a while? They usually go on for days.
Hermes: Three thousand years.
Zeus: Three thousand years! Stuff and nonsense.
Artemis: In fairness, you were looking a little drained that week.
Zeus: Surely someone would have woken me?
Hermes: Xavier tried.
Zeus: And?
Artemis: He’s statue number seven.
Zeus: Complete rubbish! I demand to see Troy immediately. Pass me the Specsavers all seeing eye.
Narrator: Two for one on all frames. See in-store for details.
Hermes: Very well your greatness
[Sfx- harp music]
Zeus: Ee gods, what’s a McDonalds?
