A short sketch, about flat shares

3 flat mates are standing around (Tim, Kate, Ken) there is a body lying on the floor

Kate Right every one I’ve called this house meeting, because there’s something badly wrong with this flat share.

Ken Here here.

Tim Glad you bought it up Kate.

Ken Though it’s very brave of you, I thought one of us was going to raise it.

Kate Brave, why? I always do my washing up.

Tim Er is this what this is about?

Kate Oh yes, you mucky pups leaving your washing up for weeks in the sink, Tim I know that baked bean plate is yours, it’s covered in mould.

Tim But I thought this would be about….

Kate Yes it’s also about you always leaving the toilet seat up, and widdling on the rug,

Ken But Kate, you know there is a more serious….

Kate I know Ken, that red mug, with the cat on it hanging on a branch, with “hang on in there,” written on it.

Ken I know of that mug,

Kate Well then you know that’s my special mug, that my exboyfriend Sebastian got me, and you used it, well it’s not special anymore now is it.

Tim Look Kate, there’s something far more serious going on here.

Kate I’ll say, he, he made coffee in it.

Tim She’s got a point, you know she’s caffeine sensitive.

Ken I’ve had it Kate you killed Barry, he’s lying on the floor right now, you killed him, you monster.

Kate Oh that, well he nicked the last of my milk.

Tim That’s not an excuse, you mad harridan.

Kate It was 7pm on Sunday the shops were shut, and how was I supposed to make my porridge for breakfast.

Ken Hmm that’s different I guess Barry did deserve to die.

Tim You total bastard, she’s got you fooled as well.

Ken What is your problem Tim?

Tim She used my knife, the fancy carbon Sainsbury cookware one, and she didn’t clean it.

Kate bursts into tears.

Kate Oh Tim I’m so sorry.

Tim I forgive you

They all hug.

Ken Now whose on the rota, for dumping Barry’s corpse.

It's good insofar as it's a reasonably well-observed piece; I'm sure many will agree, however, that this sort of student-observational fare is seen all the time. I mean, often it's the only experience young aspiring writers have to write about. Actually the sitcom I'm working on at the mo has some of this sort of stuff in it, but it's incidental rather than the main focus. I imagine this sort of stuff is the bane of producers everywhere! "Oh God, something else about how students don't get on," I can hear them sob into their Bovril. I think the twist is OK, but the whole thing lacks zest and originality IMO. It's well-observed,as I say, but I think the ground is too well-trodden.

Something like

Kate: For f**k sake isn't it's obvious? It's staring you in the face!

Ken: Go on.

Kate: I'm pregnant.

[They group hug-definitely no mention of dead body at all]