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MR MEN: THE NEXT GENERATION
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(LINK:Become part of the next sketch by painting yourself a thick, black outline and pummelling yourself with a meat mallet until you have no third dimension.)
GRAMS: INTRO MUSIC FROM ‘MR MEN & LITTLE MISSES’ WITH A HUMAN BEATBOX BANGING ALONG
F/X: ROTUND MAN WITH SHORT LEGS RUNNING, FOLLOWED BY WHALLOPING INTO A SOLID BRICK WALL AND A MAN LANDING ON HIS BACKSIDE
MR STRONG:
Woah there, Mr Bump!
MR BUMP:
(OUT OF BREATH) Sorry, Mr Strong.
MR STRONG:
Let me help you up.
F/X: MAN STRAINING TO BE HELPED UP. PATS HIMSELF DOWN.
MR STRONG:
You seem in a hurry.
MR BUMP:
(CATCHING BREATH SLOWLY) This town used to be such a nice place, but this new generation of Mr Men have appeared from *nowhere*!
MR STRONG:
I think they’ve been introduced to regenerate the place. Pull a bit of extra funding in…
MR BUMP:
It was getting a little run-down. Mr Messy’s house was a complete… well… mess!
MR STRONG:
And Mr Lazy’s house was practically decrepit! (BEAT) We haven’t had any sort of regeneration since those women were introduced into the area.
MR BUMP:
They were nothing like this new mob! There’s *literally* no respect anymore. Only last week I was attacked by Mr ASBO!
MR STRONG:
Really? He seemed such a nice bloke, with the inane grinning and him being a lovely Burbery hue.
MR BUMP:
No! Look at these bandages!
MR STRONG:
He did that?! I thought it was some sort of costume!
MR BUMP:
He stole my mobile phone! And I just bought it from Little Miss eBay.
MR STRONG:
Doesn’t she flat-share with that Little Miss Feminist?
MR BUMP:
Yes. The one with the slight moustache.
MR STRONG:
Slight!? She looks like Mr Super-Mario!
MR BUMP:
Actually, his new restaurant is the reason I’m running now.
MR STRONG:
How come?
MR BUMP:
I borrowed twenty big ones from the co-owner, Little Miss Godfather.
F/X: GUNSHOT RATTLES CLOSE BY. SLIGHT CRACKLING, SIZZLING NOISE
MR STRONG:
Get down!
F/X: ONE ROTUND MAN AND ONE BIG SQUARE MAN HITTING THE FLOOR
BOTH:
Uuwff!!
MR STRONG:
My goodness, I’ve been shot in the hat!
MR BUMP:
I’d better get out of here. Mr Gangsta-Rap’s been sent after me.
F/X: ROTUND MAN PUSHING HIMSELF UP BREATHLESSLY CONTINUING TO RUN
MR STRONG:
(MUTTERS) Double-barrelled names are bringing down this town. (SHOUTS) What did you need twenty grand for?
MR BUMP:
(DISTANT – SHOUTING) How else am I going to fund my crack habit?!
END
