Quote: Jerf Roberwitz @ January 24, 2008, 5:26 PMI didn't think I was highjacking this thread, I was merely applying SlagA's hypothosies to the post. Did you read it? If you have a point to make, why not heed your own advice and PM me, or is your real intent to make mischief?
Why didn't you PM me that^^ 
Yep, BushBaby, it's all down to personal choices I guess. I tend to be minimalistic in the way I write so I tend to that style in my reading choices too. Perhaps too much. Some script editors like name checking but others don't so you're right, it's pot luck.
I guess, as in life, we choose our own paths and in my case, I suffers the consequence.
I really enjoyed it. I want to read more.
Well that has certainly polarised opinion. Thanks all for taking an interest. I've only been writing for about 3 years and it amazes me how much you can learn from others and how much comedy is down to personal taste. The only point I will take up is that like SlagA I like to ease my way into naming a character even for radio. It's something I've learnt from re-writes. The dialogue should carry the listener and even perhaps build up a little curiosity as to who [in this case the snorer] is involved. Of course I might not be skilled enough to do this but the premise is there. Too much to soon. But as is said it is all down to taste.
Sorry about diverting your thread again Roscoff.
I would like to take this opportunity to publically apologise to Jerf for several recent poorly judge comments I have made in the Critique forum and other forums. I'm always learning how to conduct myself better on the BSG and have learnt another valuable lesson. So sorry Jerf.
Adam
A true gent. I was looking for the applaude emoticon, Adam, but could only find this very zen 'one hand clapping' one
Anyway, you get my jist (that was only one spelling mistake away from a more unappealing end sentence)
No worries ajp. We all go off on one now and again. I know I have. And it was Jerf. Ho hum.
I'd be interested to read more of this, roscoff. Can you post some?
Yes. God the pressure! it's basically written in my head so I will put part Beta in either tomorrow or the weekend.
Quote: roscoff @ January 25, 2008, 12:10 AMGod the pressure!
Is that the working title then?
Gods Know!
Hi roscoff
I think this is a pleasant read but, as said previously, is missing something. It just seems to be a random discussion and there's nothing to draw you in.
Maybe if the henchmen were planning something, like trying to overthrow Zeus (or even just trying to play a practical joke on him when he gets up) this will draw the reader in more.
As you say, you have it all planned, so try and entwine an early hint to the plot into the first page to grab attention.
Dan