...based on a true story.
THE RESIGNATION LETTER - a sketch
CEO's office. The CEO is sitting at his desk and working at his PC. There is a knock on the door. It's Shelia, Jon's PA.
Sheila: Do you have a moment?
Jon: (Still looking at his screen) Hmmmm?
Sheila: Do you have a moment please?
Jon looks up and notices an envelope in Sheila's hand which has just his name on it and the words 'Private & Confidential' in the corner. He can guess what's inside.
Jon: Um, not right now. I'm, er, looking through the board minutes.
Sheila: How? I haven't finished typing them up yet.
Jon: I downloaded your hard drive while you were at lunch....erm, I had some supplementary data which needed including in a sub-section of the appendix I added.
Sheila: But Graham had your appendix taken out.
Jon: (smiling) ...and yet I'm still in work the next day.
Jon lifts up his shirt to reveal his midrift.
Jon: Look at this - solid muscle. You could punch me in the stomach if you like.
Sheila (still to herself): Don't tempt me.
Jon: Oh, I meant to tell you I'll be working in London until further notice.
Sheila: It's not in the calendar.
Jon: No, but could you put it in luv, there's a good girl.
Sheila: Hmm...OK.
Jon: Run along now.
Sheila: Can I just give you this?
Jon: Sorry, not got time.
Sheila: Well, I'm in London tomorrow anyway. I can give it to you then
Jon makes a fake phone sound and picks it up the phone.
Jon: Yes, Jon here.
There's a pause.
Jon: An urgent meeting tomorrow? Where? A long-way from both our Peterhead and London offices? Excellent.
Jon puts the phone down.
Jon: Sorry Sheila no can do. We'll speak again soon.
Sheila: But can't I just leave this letter?
Jon: You know how I hate clutter - take it away or I'll start playing dolphin music at you.
Sheila: But....
Jon: OUT!!!!
Sheila walks out the room disgruntled. Jon quickly puts his coat on leaves to 'work from home' to devise ever more outlandish ways of being given the resignation letter.
END