The modern world

AN OLD FACTORY SOMEWHERE UP NORTH

FATHER
Ah, Terence thanks you for coming in to see your father. As you know I've just got back from a weeks holiday with your mother leaving you in temporary charge of the family business.

SON
Yes father.

FATHER
You seem to have made a few changes.

SON
Have I?

FATHER
Yes. As you know this company was established by your great great grandfather in 1876. The Weatherby family has been dealing in high density tile sheeting and injection mouldings for nearly one hundred an fifty years.

SON
Yes I know, and with considerable success

FATHER
Yes, so it was somewhat of a shock to find we're now called "Weatherby & Sons Mobile Disco"

SON
Well Father I saw a gap in the market and went for it. Its going to save us a great deal of money.

FATHER
But you've laid off over one hundred and fifty staff.

SON
Well quite a few of those took early retirement.

FATHER
Yes I heard. Colin the new guy in the canteen was only 22.

SON
Well I would have liked to have kept him on, but I wanted to run an efficient company with no waste.

FATHER
So how many people do we have working for us now.

SON
Five. As I said lean and efficient. It will be six if Paul can find his uncles Abba vinyls.

FATHER
I saw Bob down on the factory floor doing something weird. That man has been a highly skilled lathe operator at this company for nearly forty years.

SON
Well father with such skills I couldn't let them go to waste. He's being retrained so that he can blow up baloons into animal shapes for childrens parties. At the moment his stuff mostly looks likes giant genitals, but he assures me by wednesday he'll be able to do a passable giraffe.

FATHER
I don't wish to be disparaging son, but what sort of business is a mobile disco?

SON
We've already done one booking father on friday. A childrens party. Admittedly it wasn't the success I'd hoped, but that was because many of the parents didn't want to take their children across the picket line.

FATHER
The picket line?

SON
Oh don't worry the police stopped most of the trouble, and the tear gas smell went very quickly. Plus later on the kids really seemed to enjoy the water cannon. We've got a anniversary disco booked for next month too.

Hi Rob

I liked the idea here and in particular the reveal about the & Sons Mobile Disco had me spluttering me Rice Krispies all over the table.

Felt it was a bit too top heavy after that but a bit of trimming and I think it would be very good. It sort of reminded me a little of Pete and Dud in the set up

Good one

Good one, Rob! Nice sketch, mate - some really funny bits in there.
The bit at the end about the picket line didn't really work for me though, but maybe that's just taste?

Also, is there a more subtle way you could explain the scenario rather than having the father going into detail about something the son already knows (As you know I've just got back etc...)?

Well done though - I particularly liked the Abba vinyls bit and the balloons

Like ian_w says, you could do with cleaning up the set up. The line:

FATHER
Ah, Terence thanks you for coming in to see your father. As you know I've just got back from a weeks holiday with your mother leaving you in temporary charge of the family business.

Is a bit weird - why would anyone tell their son he's their father? And then go on to explain things he already knows? Phrases like 'as you know' might sound like they fix this, but they just highlight the problem. Something like:

SON
Hi dad, how was your holiday?

Sets up the realtionship in a more natural way. Then you could have a line from the father asking how being in charge went while he was away. Something which avoids people telling each other what they already know.

It's a good sketch though, I like this sort of thing: two people, one reasonable, the other an idiot.

One question I do have, is it for TV, stage or radio? It reads like a radio sketch because there are no visual gags at all; but I'm not sure.

Basically this was written quickly as a way to use the 'Mobile Disco' line, which I'd woken up with and had to write down. If I could of stopped after that line I would, but it didn't feel correct. The rest of the sketch is just an attempt to find a finish. The Union / Picket line stuff had potential, but...

Doesn't have an intended use in Radio, TV etc, but just me jotting down a line. None of the sketches I've written here have been aimed at a particular medium. They've just been an attempt to be funny. TBH these are mainly been ideas/jokes that have come up that just can't be shoehorned into my sitcom idea.

Ah, right. I think I've got the wrong end of the stick somewhere along the line.