Hello! Y'all right? Bill can't hear you! Y'all right?
OK Moving on.
I wouldn't say my wife's gabby but she's called Gabby...err...so...never mind.
My wife right? My wife...she's that bird that I got married to in that big church. It's true. I'm not shittin you.
Two men and an elephant go into a bar and the barman says "Here you can't bring him in here!" and the elephant says "I won him in a raffle" Shit! Bollocks! That's not right is it?
OK OK!
Simon Cowell's talking to Louis Walsh right? And Louis says "That bastard in the pet shop's cutting his bird-seed with sawdust" and Simon says "What's that got to do with the X Factor you berk?" I'm not shittin you. He did.
I was in Sainsbury's the other day and they'd run out of Jamie Oliver. Pukka!
Last week I was starving so I bought a ham sandwich out of Tesco. Now I'm not saying it was mingin. I'm saying it was ham.
Are there any Irish in tonight? Yes! Do you want a little more? Wait...no. Shit!
Big finish - big finish - right come on. Think! Think! Oh yeah!
This bloke dies right? And he arrives at the pearly gates. St Peter comes out and says "Your name's not down you're not gettin' in" So this bloke's had to sling his hook. I'm not shittin you!
Anyhooo!
I've been Bill Gravy and you've been smashing!
Thank you and good night!
