British Comedy Guide

Writing for Newsrevue Page 4

Hello, what a lovely lot of people you are.
I thought I hadn't written anything 'for a couple of years' but it turns out, thinking about Newsrevue, that it is actually about seven years. Slacking on a grand scale - even for me.
Anyway, I'm going to try to not not write and write instead of not this year and for any new contenders, NR is a great place to start (assuming not much has changed since the olden days).
It is best to see a show to appreciate the break-neck pace, pitiful budget, small stage and type of stuff that works. I got quite a bit of stuff on and was told there was a cheque for me knocking around but I never chased it up - I dont think anyone is getting rich on the show - Thurs and Sunday nights could be very poorly attended.
Unless the cast are really intent on doing mostly their own stuff, anything decent will get on. Some shows are better than others but the intimacy of the venue means any duff stuff leads to excruciating silences so they wouldn't bump anything off for 'political' reasons.
The thing I liked most was being able to write absolutely viscious, libellous filth without boundaries - a good release whilst writing for the Huddlines at the same time.
I contacted the producer recently and he suggested coming to a show to get a feel for/of the cast before submitting.
What a bloody ramble - the upshot being; a good op to get stuff on but dont rely on the money to pay for your crack habit.

I submitted a sketch to News Revue earlier and got the following email:

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Is this your first submission? If so, I'll add you to the writers' mailing
list and send you a copy of the writers guidelines. In the meantime, I'll
send this off to the Director. If it is accepted, it will appear in the
running order which you will receive on opening night (Thursday). If not, it
might be accepted in the future, but I'm afraid the Director will be unable
to give individual feedback since we have such a large writers database.

Many thanks for your submission - and do keep them coming in!

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I only post it because it seems to sum up the the whole submission/mailing list question in a nutshell.

Quote: Tuumble @ January 24, 2008, 1:23 PM

I only post it because it seems to sum up the the whole submission/mailing list question in a nutshell email :)

Quote: Tuumble @ January 24, 2008, 1:23 PM

I submitted a sketch to News Revue earlier and got the following email:

-----------

Is this your first submission? If so, I'll add you to the writers' mailing
list and send you a copy of the writers guidelines. In the meantime, I'll
send this off to the Director. If it is accepted, it will appear in the
running order which you will receive on opening night (Thursday). If not, it
might be accepted in the future, but I'm afraid the Director will be unable
to give individual feedback since we have such a large writers database.

Many thanks for your submission - and do keep them coming in!

-----------

I only post it because it seems to sum up the the whole submission/mailing list question in a nutshell.

How long after you submitted your stuff did you get that?

Um, about 25 minutes.

Well a few people have wondered what a sketch needs to be like to get accepted by Newsrevue, so here's one that they accepted off me. I'm not looking for critique and feel a little embarrased posting it up now.

I've heard from a few people that Newsrevue only use sketches which finish on a strong punchline. I expect that's why this one did well. Whether they added anything to it on the night, I just don't know. Anyway, I hope it gives you an idea and here it is:

Int.The Blairs front room.

Cherie is sat at a table reading a magazine. Tony walks in and sits down at the table.

Tony: Hello Cherie!

Cherie: Hello Tony. How did you get on?

Tony: Well, I am now a fully paid up member of the Catholic Church!

Cherie: Oh that’s wonderful, darling!

Tony: And you know what’s best?

Cherie: That I can use the publicity to put up my after dinner speaking fee?

Tony: Well, yes, there’s that. But more importantly, I now have a clean slate. In my time as a Catholic I’ve done nothing to damage the sanctity of human life.

Cherie: What a masterstroke!

Tony: It gets better, dear. Even if I do commit an immoral crime, all I have to do is repent before my death and I’m laughing.

Cherie: Tsk! If only you’d known about all this years ago. You could have invaded Iran with a clear conscience.

Tony: I achieved so much as it is though, dear. I mean, who had even heard of Iran before I invaded Iraq?!

Cherie: Very true. Anyway, I better be getting on with dinner. It’s your favourite tonight – chicken.

Tony: Oh excellent.

Cherie: And after that, maybe we can celebrate your new job. Upstairs.

Cherie winks and goes to get up. Tony beckons for her to sit back down

Tony: I do need to tell you one thing. It’s... It’s just that the Catholic church take a rather dim view on the use of contraception.

Cherie: Oh I see.

Tony: I’m sure we’ll be ok though.

Cherie: Yes, as long as you pull out of me quicker than you pulled out of Iraq.

END

Heeeey! I liked that muchly! :D

Great sketch, Winterlight. We see now why it made the grade.
Thanks for posting it mate, despite feeling embarrassed, that was really decent of you.

Nice.

Yes very good Winterlight, well done!

Top sketch. Laughing out loud

I liked the sketch, Winterlight. Thanks lots for posting so we can see what to aim for.

Dan

Ticked all the boxes. Excellent.

Nice one Winterlight. I sent in a few sketches over the space of a week and all I got back was an email saying 'unsubscribe'. :$

Laughing out loud Very good!

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