Bearing in mind Will's got his name by its neither of ours, I've had more succesful runs. The Titanic's had more succesful voyages.
Writing for Newsrevue Page 15
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New listing hot off the press
NR Running Order
Run Number:Run 1.Date:21/02/2008
Week Number:Week 6.
Director:Will Allen
MD:Mike Turnbull
Cast:Abi Lumb, Jen Mountain, Chris Heyward, Gareth Bennett-Ryan.
WriterTitleGagSketchSongRunDescription
John Langford1Money, Money, MP.1Mps sing to ABBA's Money money money about greed
Johnnie Ellen2Jeremy Kyle1Jeremy Kyle reveals who prince harry's parents really are
Colin Leggo3Confused McCartney1Advert a la confused.com, referring to the McCartney legal battle
Sarah Hutchings4Dave Charming1Dave Cameron sings to Prince Charming
Will Allen5Brown what not to wear1Trinny and Susanna meet gordon brown
6Roo Beauty1Colleen looks good as she stands next to wayne rooney
Will Allen7The Cillit Gang1Barry Scott shows the new range of cillit bang products
Colin Abul8Russell Brand1Rusell Barnd sings to These are a few of my Favorite things
Noel Christopher9Tony Blair as God1TB takes the job role as God
Jen Mountain/Abi Lumb10Darling got a brand new bag1Trinny andnd Susanna meet Alistair Darling
Buster Rowlatt11Cuban Crisis1A tour round the new capitalist Cuba
Martin Malcolm12Stun Gun Song1A yob is tazared by police to the tune of Doo Ron
Colin Leggo13James Bond: Quantum of Solace1James Bond meets his new Bond girl, carol Vorderman
Will Allen14Bang1Barry Scott shouts bang at someone
Colin Stutt15Blunt Bomber1A suicide bomber sings to James Blunt's You're beautiful
Buster Rowlatt16Al-Fayed1Al-Fayed goes mental for conspiracies in a restaurant
Gordon Robertson17Jerome Kerviel on Trial1Jerome Kerviel is on trial defended by Peter Hain
David Malone18The labour Party1The Cabinet sing to It's My Party
Jess Fostekew19Boris the Clown1Boris does stand up
Chris Hale/Nick Afka20Darling and the Browns1Brown shuns his wife to go on holiday wth A listair Darling
Griff Phillips21Sharia1Rowan williams sings about Sharia to the tune of Maria
Gordon Robertson/Hale/Allen22Condi and Bush1Condi and Bush discuss torture, narnia and canada
Mark Bell23TEFL Fabio1Beckham teaches Fabio English
Derek Thompson24Consider Yourself1Sarkozy sings to Brown about the EU
Colin Leggo25Blood Donor1Blood Donors talk about their experiences and are interrupted by Boris
Buster Rowlatt26Heath Bloom1Heath Ledger fans shoot Orlande Bloom
Burt Afkason27Beatles in Court1Paul and Heather argue to We can Work it Out
Jen Mountain/Abi Lumb28Nigella's Kitchen1Nigella meets Dr. Gillian McKieth
The Cast29Rambo1Rambo shakes because he is very old
Joel Soetendorp30Mosquito1The mosquito device hs varying settings for daily mail readers etc
Colin Leggo31Jackson1Jacko sings about showing his kids faces for the first time
32Ashley Cole1Ms. Cole is setting up a band called Girls not Allowed You Bastard
Martin Baum33Newcastke United1A geordie speaks through a translator
Griff Phillips34Perjury1Winehouse sings about her perjury trial
Sam Collins35Vacant Bush1He zones out
Gordon Robertson36JK Rowling's new book1Rowling talks about her obscene new book
Buster Rowlatt37McDegree1Ronald McDonald gives a degree in the bleeding obvious
Terry Newman/Jen Mountain38Obama superstar1Hilary sings about obama to Jesdus christ superstar
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Quote: sootyj @ February 28, 2008, 3:47 PMJust got running order (27/02/08) and here you go
NR Running Order
Run Number:Run 2.Date:28/02/2008
Week Number:Week 1.
Director:Will Kenning
MDete Smith
Castavid Blair, Michael Mitcham, Kate Willis, Charlotte Workman
WRITER#TITLEGAGSKETCHSONGDESCRIPTIONCAST
Will Kenning1We Will Mock You14 verse chant mocking prominent figuresMDCK
Grif Philips2Ready Deady Cook1Ainsley & Jamie cook a death row dinnerMDK
John Kelly3Testing Testing1Pushy mother appeals the APGAR testCK
Gordon Robertson4New Bond Title1Radcliffe and Craig argue about titlesMDK
Gary Beard / Jason Smart / Peter Styles5Paris Hilton Downgraded V/O1Paris Hilton One LinerM
Derek Thompson6Amy Winehouse in Rehab1Amy wants the toilet - not to take drugsCK
Terry Newman7Oh Amy1Amy Winehouse sings about her excessive habitsMDK
Gary Beard / Jason Smart / Peter Styles8Capello Speaks-O1Fabio addresses the media with the aid of a translatorMDCK
Joel Soetendorp / Derek Thompson9Grange Killed/ Grange Hill Results1Grange hill is taken off the air with disasterous conseqs.MDCK
Gordon Robertson10State of the Union Address1Bush is president - we're in troubleDK
Joel Soetendorp11Vampire Bum Holes1Al Fayed offends the royal family in courtMC
?12Swing on a Star1Al Manor TV's shopping channel advertisementCK
Martin Malcolm13Cuba Crisis1Fidel hands over power to his brotherMD
Noel Christopher14Clintanic1Hilary and Bill hit an 'iceberg' at seaMC
Martin Malcolm15The Butler Blabs1Paul Burrel tries to think of more secretsDK
David Salisbury16The Non Doms will not pay1Alistair Darling sings about tax evading non domicilesMDCK
Martin Malcolm17Olympics Black Hole1Commentators give their response to olympic budgetingMDC
Colin Leggo18Channel 4 Ident1The Royal Family nominate their most hated raceMDCK
Martin Malcolm19Crazy Cruise1Tom Cruise is interigated by AliensMK
Martin Malcolm20Singing Binmen1Binmen sing about their lazy waysMDCK
Michael Monkhouse21Dead Funny V/O1Call centre for Bridgend suicidesD
Martin Malcolm22Organs Orgy1NHS Nurse helps herself to patients organsCK
The Cast23Amy's Dancers Quickie1Amy's Dancers are still dancing. MD
Robbie Dale24Collect the Cabinet1Kids play a card swap gameMDC
Martin Malcolm25Barmy Bishop1Thought for the day with Rowan WilliamsMK
Tom Johnstone26Bran Eater1Gillian McKeith sings about changing your dietMDCK
Griff Philips / Stuart Cooper27Boys who don't do Comedy1Dawn French interviews her husband Lenny HenryDC
Martin Malcolm28Terror Tubbies1Tubbies are joined by a mysterious imposterMDCK
Noel Christopher29The Life of Kevin1Kevin Keegan wakes up in a Monty Python SketchMDCK
Griff Philips30Sharia1Rowan Williams sings about his plan to bring in Sharia lawD
James L Williams31G-Spot V/O1Doctors can locate the G-spot…though not during sexC
Martin Malcolm32Afghan Agony1Ross Kemp's TV show upsets the AfghansMDK
Paul Davighi33Nigella Lawson1Nigella cooks up a surprise for Kiera KnightleyC
Stuart Cooper34Spice Girls Medley1The Spice Girls sing about how they hate each otherMDCK
Gill Smith35Indiana & The Lost Car Keys1A trailer for the geriatric adventure filmMDCK
?36Batman & Robin1Batman and Robin where the joker has got toMD
Martin Malcolm37Dwayne Again V/OxOne liner about coke snortingK
Mark Bell38Deal or No Deal1Noel Edmunds asks Gordon to decide about Northern RockMDCK
Terry Newman39Brown gave Nothern Rock to You1Anthem about the nationalisation of Northern Rock MDCK
John Random40 ( + Pledge of Allegience )1The cast state what's of key value in Brown's BritainMDCK
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Don't think you were succesful I only got 2 in
One of my jokes in. Absurdly pleased.
Good luck, and well done, you going to see it?
It's alright, it's worn off now. 
No, but when I move to London I'll be making regular appearances.
don't knock it's one of only two open access topical shows in the UK. The competition is fierce.
Well done, James!
Sooty times 2 me thinks. Bastard!
Yeah, congratulations James.
Though I would have taken your "immigration cheques" sketch. Did you send them that?
Thanks I think so. Just got to keep plugging away!
Well done James. Did you post the sketch here?
Well done to you as well, Joel.
And Griff, is that you in there too?
Quote: ian_w @ February 28, 2008, 7:05 PMWell done James. Did you post the sketch here?
Well done to you as well, Joel.
And Griff, is that you in there too?
Just a gag. It's around somewhere. Just tossed it off, really - others I spent ages toying with getting the words right. Proof if any were needed that if you throw enough shit some will stick.
Quote: Griff @ February 28, 2008, 7:16 PMYep, that's me.
Well in that case congratulations to you too.
Quote: James Williams @ February 28, 2008, 7:19 PMJust a gag. It's around somewhere. Just tossed it off, really - others I spent ages toying with getting the words right. Proof if any were needed that if you throw enough shit some will stick.
I'd like to read it though. If you can find it will you post it?
Quote: ian_w @ February 28, 2008, 7:23 PMI'd like to read it though. If you can find it will you post it?
"Doctors say the female G-spot can now be detected with sophisticated ultrasound equipment - though that’s likely to spoil the mood."
Such an obvious gag it's unworthy of mention IMO, but it succeeded where all else failed!
This is one that I didn't post or submit from the same week that I quite liked:
An Israeli MP has blamed the country’s latest quakes on God’s fury at homosexuals.
Still, he won’t be the first MP to say a gay’s made the earth move for him.