Contributors, please remember the premise, the clue is in the title.
Thank-you, your work cured my insomnia.
Critique you would 'really' like to write. Page 9
That's a load of crap!
Execrable shite.
I'm on my best behaviour, I'm pitching for adjudicator, what's my chances, be honest.
*claps slowly* wow what a 'wacky' idea.
Your work was so good I shat myself. Unfortunately in the process I produced something miles better.
Well, jerf you are totally getting all the attention, so much so, no ones bothered about my crap 
Your work was so good I submitted it into a competition. I won in the 3-4 year olds section.
So do you ever crit anyone elses work Jerf or are you totally up your own arse?
Imagine a man with a funny face getting himself into situations with hilarious consequences. That's the level of your work.
you talking to me winterlight?
I'll read it later when i take out the rubbish 
No, Bushbaby. This thread is somewhere where you simply put down the most horrific 'critique' you can think of. None of it is aimed at anyone.
If the world was ending and your work was the only thing left on this earth to read, and without reading something I would lose my sanity, I would still burn it to keep me warm!
I tried taking this piece of 'comedy' down to the dump, but they refused to accept it.
I'd rather be into golf than appreciate your work.