It ain't what you say.

It ain’t what you say.

A ROUGH LOOKING WOMAN (Ms. SMITH) AND HER TEENAGE SON (MARLON,15 yrs) SIT IN A PRIVATE ROOM. THE BOY’S TEACHER AND A CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST (PSYCH) ARE IN ATTENDANCE.

TEACHER. Hello, Ms. Smith, at last we meet after Marlon’s 3 yrs at this school. (turns to boy) Welcome, Marlon, as ever it’s a pleasure (turns to psychologist) and welcome to you Mr. Burton. (turns back to Ms. Smith) You have asked for this meeting based on concerns that you have expressed in reference to Marlon’s behaviour and language.

PSYCH. Hello, Ms. Smith. Perhaps you could describe to us what you feel is the problem with Marlon and how his behaviour is impacting on your life and the life of others?

MS. SMITH (to Marlon) Eeeh?

MARLON. (to mother) Ya, f**king old bitch, ya moaned to ‘em that me shit and them ask how?

MS. SMITH. Ya have Trets and me tink ya shit.

MARLON. (to psychologist) Mother would like to suggest that my language is somewhat different at home to the external environment and would go as far as to say, inappropriate, given the comparison. She likens my psychological state to someone who has a condition first described in 1884 by Georges Albert Edouard Brutus Gilles de la Tourette who identified ‘maladie des tics’. Most commonly known as Tourettes Syndrome.

TEACHER. I would be inclined to agree.

PSYCH. Me too.

MARLON. What the f**k, you wankers?

PSYCH. Job done. You’re cured.

Hi Marion

This one is completely over my head, I'm afraid. I think I see what you're trying to do, but it doesn't work for me. Sorry.

Dan

Hey, mate, that's fine!!!!
Probably the joke in this is that I thought it was soooooo funny and was sitting there waiting for the praise to roll in.
Now, that's funny

Bless, chum, if it don't work then it don't work. But nobody said that every egg was a chicken - to quote a non-vegan joke!

Thanks for the honest feedback.xxxxxxx

Hey Marion,
I'm afraid I saw this coming a mile off (which is unusual for me coz I'm thick that way)and the ending didnt work for me BUT I think it's a good idea and worth reworking

Ta, mate. Getting bad crits is as useful as getting goog one's .
Thanks for all the help. I am very glad of it!

For me, overlong in the opening. But it's a nice reversal idea.

I'd remove this section for starters.

TEACHER. Hello, Ms. Smith, at last we meet after Marlon’s 3 yrs at this school. (turns to boy) Welcome, Marlon, as ever it’s a pleasure (turns to psychologist) and welcome to you Mr. Burton. (turns back to Ms. Smith) You have asked for this meeting based on concerns that you have expressed in reference to Marlon’s behaviour and language.

_____________________

The reason being it adds nothing plus it only repeats the introduction of Ms Smith and the idea that the meeting's about Marlon and his behaviour.

The names of the councellor and teacher in such a short sketch, and therefore the introductions, aren't needed. Plus there are two officials when one could serve the purpose.

All relationships (between the players) can be immediately established more concisely and intuitively via the opening (slightly modified) question:

PSYCH. Hello, Ms. Smith. Perhaps you could describe how Marlon's behaviour is impacting on your life and the lives of others?

__________________

I hope this helps a little. But I'd always strive to think how can you get into a sketch right at the key moment.