Slings and arrows 2 Page 2

Sorry Marion,didn't realize you were the AR activist when I posted so apologies if I was presumptuous aout your level of knowledge in this area

Quote: marion @ January 11, 2008, 8:26 AM

And as for it being stereotypical - it worked for Del Boy as South London Market trader!

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I agree that stereotypes are used all the time in comedy but it's limiting if used as a basic premise.Del Boy worked because of his character,thwarted aspirations and relationships,not because he was a stereotypical market trader.It's unfair to judge on the basis of 2 scenes but my main point was that your characters need to have more reason to behave as they do besides the fact they're Irish Gypsies.

CONTINUITY
The continuity thing is also hard to judge from just 2 scenes.Although theres no glaring difference in style,you're writing about unknown characters in two different settings so,aside from both scenes featuring irish gypsies,theres nothing to judge continuity on yet.
One of you mentioned that both these situations really happened,which suggests you dont personally know these characters as they're observed rather than developed.If you're co-writing material on a rotating scene basis it's important that you both really 'know' your characters-how they talk/think/feel/react etc,even more so than if you're writing alone,because that will assist with continuity of style much better than following a plot outline.Hope that helps!

[ quote:You are not, I assume, an Irish traveller/tinker type, living off their wits,but an educated person.]

You're right that I'm not Irish,but I'm not a new-ager either.Or 'educated'(although I love that my posts come across as such!).I've 'lived by my wits' my whole life-which is why I'm dirt-poor as,sadly,I was blessed with the wits of an amoeba. But 'gerroff this land' is rarely preceded by questions about heritage or belief systems.Although the traveller community is as diverse as any other there's little distinction in the minds of the masses so perpetuating negative stereotypes affects us all,regardless of 'sub-set'.
Although you've clarified your scenes aren't 'about' gypsies,responses on here suggested thats how they were being read,which is why I felt compelled to comment as I did.No offence was taken by your portrayal,and none intended by my response.

you're not called Peter are you niteowl?

Not unless I've had a sex change without noticing!

Quote: bushbaby @ January 12, 2008, 5:55 PM

you're not called Peter are you niteowl?

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sorry Ray, I didn't mean to 'troll'. I was being serious but will watch it in future

Thanks for that, Niteowl. It was helpful and well received. xx

I really do like it Ray. You have a great style of writing!.

I must say that the second scene does have more chuckles in it than scene one did. It comes over better now there are two scenes!