Countdown Sketch

Just a sketch I wrote about the Channel 4 programme Countdown

DES: Hello, I'm Des O'Connor and welcome to Countdown. Just before we start, I'd just like to clear up anything that has been in the paper about us advertising companies during the show. It's not true, don't believe the papers. Anyway without further ado, I'd like to welcome you to our two players today, Mark and Spencer- welcome guys. I'd also like to welcome you to Carol. She's the lady with the Timberland jumper on, hello Carol
(Carol has a stain on her shirt)
CAROL: Hello Des
DES: Hello Carol, what's that stain on your wonderful Timberland jumper.
CAROL: Heinze Tomato Ketchup
DES: How do you know it's Heinze Tomato Ketchup
CAROL: Well, I was a bit worried- I thought it was blood, so I eat some and I knew by the luxurry taste it was Heinze Tomato Ketchup
DES: Thanks Carol, right Mark, it's your letters- off you go
MARK: I'll have a consonant Carol
CAROL: M
MARK: And a vowel
CAROL: O
Mark: And a consonant
CAROL: R
MARK: And another consonant
CAROL: R
MARK: And a vowel
CAROL: I
MARK: And a consonant
CAROL: S
MARK: A vowel
CAROL: O
MARK: A consonant
CAROL: N
Mark: And another consonant
CAROL: S

Any feedback is most welcome- positive or negative- I'd be most grateful- but please be honest, if you think it is rubbish, just say so, I won't be offended.

I think it's good but you'd never get it on because of the advertising

I think it's good. Watch your spelling and think about things like the repetition of the word 'just' at the beginning.

The only major thing I'd say is maybe make the spelt out name shorter. It's a long time to sit through and people will have guessed it earlier - then they're bored waiting for the sketch to end.

Try ASDA maybe?

I know it's not nine letters, but you could cut the sketch there. Or perhaps end it with another gag.

I like it though, and on stage the advertising wouldn't be a problem.

I like it, again as with a few others the idea doesn't seem very 'fresh' (cf. Truman show etc.) but I really liked the 'Morrisons' gag at the end, despite possible practical problems.

Maybe you could play around with it being the Countdown Conundrum at the end to give the joke more immediacy. But I did like it being spelt out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVFpB5WEuZ8&feature=related

...lots of Countdown clip high-jinks to be had on YouTube. Loads of 'em.

Ooh, the conundrum - good one. That's a much better idea.

Could do a series of three. Leave this one as it is, come back later on with a sketch involving the numbers, maybe the numbers that come out are 1-1-8-1-1-8(Carol could even draw a map describing how to get somewhere as she solves the problem) and then the conundrum (all the letters spelling out a word with only two letters out of place ('ORRISONSM').

Think you're on to a good idea here though. Could make Des a bit of a slimeball or well into himself for extra laughs.

Dan

Nice one, mate.

Quote: swerytd @ January 8, 2008, 7:29 PM

Could do a series of three. Leave this one as it is, come back later on with a sketch involving the numbers, maybe the numbers that come out are 1-1-8-1-1-8(Carol could even draw a map describing how to get somewhere as she solves the problem) and then the conundrum (all the letters spelling out a word with only two letters out of place ('ORRISONSM').

Think you're on to a good idea here though. Could make Des a bit of a slimeball or well into himself for extra laughs.

Dan

View original

Great ideas.
Agree too with characterisation of Des. Seemed a bit flat to me. & could easily assign him amusing attributes to liven things up.

Thanks for the feedback guys. Love the idea of 118118.

If this sketch was ever made, it would be good to have the contestants looking really abnormal and grotesque. Have you seen some of the people that go on this show? They look like they've spent their whole lives locked in a dark cellar with just a dictionary to read.

Good idea. I agree with suggestions. As a possible surreal alternative, the 9 letters called out in order could spell 'Morrisons' but the two contestants could give answers as 'Tesco' and 'Sainsbury' respectively. Daft I know, but exaggerates the advertising even more and gives a twist.. Cut to picture of woman leafing through dictionary that has brand names instead of words.

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ January 9, 2008, 1:25 AM

Good idea. I agree with suggestions. As a possible surreal alternative, the 9 letters called out in order could spell 'Morrisons' but the two contestants could give answers as 'Tesco' and 'Sainsbury' respectively. Daft I know, but exaggerates the advertising even more and gives a twist.. Cut to picture of woman leafing through dictionary that has brand names instead of words.

View original

That would work better if Tesco or Sainsbury contained letters that made up Morrisons....perhaps, with a bit of thought (that I'm not going to do now because I'm going to bed), you could come up with a 9 letter company, and find a couple of other companies within that. Clever humour then, ya see. I'll think tomorrow if I get time...

Quote: charisma @ January 9, 2008, 1:36 AM

That would work better if Tesco or Sainsbury contained letters that made up Morrisons....perhaps, with a bit of thought (that I'm not going to do now because I'm going to bed), you could come up with a 9 letter company, and find a couple of other companies within that. Clever humour then, ya see. I'll think tomorrow if I get time...

View original

But the fact that they are writing letters down as they are being called out, and then have answers that dont contain those 9 letters makes it even more surreal and possibly amusing.

9 letters spell out 'Morrisons'. clock has ticked 30 seconds.

Des: How many did you get Mark?
Mark : I got 5 Des.
And you Spencer?
Spencer: I got 9 Des.

Des: Whats your 9 Spencer?

The expectation is that he will say Morrisons.

Spencer: Sainsbury.

Girl checking 'brand name' dictionary crammed full of leading brands.
Girl: Yes, Sainsbury is fine.

Des: And what was your 5 Mark out of interest?
Mark: Tesco.

The more advertising in this sketch, the better it becomes in my opinion. Anyway, Jack... every little helps!