British Comedy Guide

Star wars

James' Trekkie sketch got me thinking about this.

MAN DRESSED AS HARRISON FORD OPENS DOOR AND STANDS IN THE DOORWAY.

MAN:
Darling you know we discussed role play.

WOMAN:
Yes.

MAN:
And you know I suggested that I think Star Wars is really sexy.

WOMAN:
Yes

MAN:
And in particular a certain scene from the Empire Strike Back when they capture Princess Leah.

WOMAN:
Yes

MAN:
Well I don't think you quite understood what I meant.

CUT BACK TO SEE WOMAN LYING ON THE BED IN A JABBA THE HUTT COSTUME

I like the basic gag, but you might want to think about either shortening it or adding in some funny lines before the pay off.

At the moment you've got 7 straight lines before your first laugh. I time that as being 15-20 seconds of not funny before you get to your laugh. Could you condense all that down? Could it just be one line from the man and then the reveal?

Or could you add in funny lines from the woman instead of just "Yes."?

At them moment, when you know you're about to read something which is funny and you get all the way to the end of the skecth without having read anything funny ... it's a bit off-putting.

Some picky technical notes:

A man dressed like Harrison Ford would probably be wearing jeans and a denim shirt. I think you mean dressed as Han Solo.

All of the man's questions should have a question mark at the end.

The woman's dialogue should be designated as 'off-screen' (O.S.) OR (O.O.V.) otherwise I'm just imagining a normally dressed woman sitting in front of him.

Geeky bits: The Return of the Jedi and Princess Leia.

Overall: it's a good gag, but might be better if presented differently.

Angry Damn you, Phill, beating me to it with technical advice. I was going to say all of that, you devil ;)
Ok, I wasn't but I feel a bit of a nit, now. :$
Right, I agree that it should have read Hans Solo and not the lovely Harrison Ford and when I twigged what was happening at the end I laughed outloud.
I don't know shit from sugar, mate, but when I imagined it I thought it was funny Laughing out loud

Quote: marion @ January 8, 2008, 12:34 PM

I don't know shit from sugar, mate.

Are you the teaboy in my office?

As to the sketch, I agree with what Doctor Phill had to say. Except, does Harrison Ford really wear denim shirts?

He does in my head.

Good advice from Phill. Oh and the gag wasn't too bad either. I can imagine it as a flashback from Family Guy.

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