Although again, this is probably, more drama with some comedy.
LET’S PARTEE
Scene 1 Int Evening
(The lounge is large and cluttered with fabric, paint, newspapers etc. Large murals are half finished. This is obviously a house belonging to artists/theatrical people.
The five have just finished their evening meal and are seated round the table with Jon at the head.)
JON
When are you going to put something in the kitty Leeroy?
LEEROY
I put some in last year man. I can’t pay nothin’ till I get work.
DEB
We’re all skint. I’ve got nothing left till my next benefit cheque.
ALL
Me too.
TEEJAY
And nobody wants singers these days.
DEB
Somethin’ll turn up.
How did your audition go today Lee?
LEEROY
The Titanic performed better. I need a new agent he sends me to all the wrong tings.
TEEJAY
What was it?
LEEROY
Wuthering Heights…….Heathcliff.
(The others fall about laughing)
MARCIA
Your agent’s got a brilliant sense of humour.
LEEROY
Marcia, it was worth going just to see the look on the director’s face. He sittin’ there trying to look nonchalant and interested in my CV..
JON
You could have played a horseman or something.
LEEROY
On stage?
JON
Oh, I thought it was film.
MARCIA
Besides, there were no black men in them there Yorkshire hills in Heathcliff’s day.
TEEJAY
There must have been a token one.
JON
Anyway, our money troubles may be over. I’ve got a proposition to put to you all.
(Pause)
DEB
Get on with it.
JON
I’ve been asked by a very good friend of mine….a very rich designer friend, to organise a party for him and his three hundred guests.
LEEROY
I ain’t slavin’ for no white honky.
JON
The budget’s ten grand.
LEEROY
Unless he payin’ at least ten grand.
JON
Now, we need to organise everything in detail, we can leave no stone unturned. Is everybody up for it?
ALL
Yeah!
JON
Right, to plan this properly we could get the party on the road for…say two grand….
DEB
Wow, that’d leave us with, what about one and a half grand each.
MARCIA
That’d keep us in food for days.
TEEJAY
Not the way Lee pigs out.
MARCIA
I know. I bet you show up on satellite Lee.
LEEROY
Oh yeah, well how come I never show up on TV?
DEB
So where’s this party being held?
JON
That’s up to us. I said we’d be responsible for everything, right down to the perfumed toilet rolls.
LEEROY
We don’t need to be that lav…ish.
JON
It leaves a good impression. I’ve done some paperwork on it. I suggest we’re each responsible for a certain aspect. For instance, I’ve put Leeroy down for admin and catering.
LEEROY
No prob man, there’s a good caterer on the main street.
JON
No, you’ll be doing the catering.
LEEROY
What? You know I’m a naff cook Jon..
MARCIA
You eat enough it’s about time you learned what it’s made of.
JON
Next. I’ll be in charge of booking a venue and tarting it up.
TEEJAY
No problem there for you dearie
(Jon throws him a dirty look)
JON
I’ve found a room, so we can all get our asses down there tomorrow and see what can be done.
DEB
Great, can I do the décor?
JON
As an artist you are the obvious choice for that Deb.
Teejay, you’ll be in charge of the booze and entertainment.
Marcia, you’ll be helping out with everything and watching the budget along with Leeroy.
TEEJAY
So when’s the big day?
JON
Two weeks today. Now, I propose we have a theme because if this one is successful, many more will follow. For this party I suggest we do a Caribbean theme.
LEEROY
Cool man. That means curried chicken….
TEEJAY
Black beans….
DEB
Rum punch…
MARCIA
Steel band…
JON
You’re getting the drift.
Scene 2 INT Old Brewery
All are looking with dismay at the room which is quite grotty and old.There are old barrels, planks of wood, trestles etc strewn all over the place..
JON
Look, I got it cheap.
LEEROY
You don’t say.
MARCIA
We’ve got two weeks?
TEEJAY
We’d need two millenniums or should that be millennii?
JON
Millennia to be precise. Where’s your sense of adventure?
LEEROY
(Searches his pockets)
Damn, I left it behind.
DEB
What we need is a skip. We can clear all this in a couple of days. Then I can get my paint brushes out.
JON
(Goes to the centre of the room)
I can do a lot with these pillars. How about me draping them with ivy?
TEEJAY
Don’t think she’d like that.
MARCIA
Do they have ivy in the West Indies?
LEEROY
Don’t ax me, I’ve been an English man for at least 90 years.
TEEJAY
We’d need about a ton of sand at that end to serve as a stage for the steel band and to give a nice Caribbean atmosphere….
DEB
That’ll cost.
TEEJAY
No, I’ll borrow it off my builder friend then take it back after.
MARCIA
Sort of the shifting sands effect.
(The others groan)
JON
It could just work. I’ve got access to rolls of storm damaged fabric. I can just see the walls draped in turquoise voile dearies. It’ll look like the Caribbean Sea.
TEEJAY
Specially with all the water marks on it.
DEB
I can make cardboard cut outs of palm trees and paint ‘em. Then I can make palm tree stencils for the walls. It’ll look fab.
JON
Come on. Let’s get weaving.
Scene 3 Int Lounge
TEEJAY
This is the first time in my life I’ve had to work like a black.
LEEROY
Me too.
DEB
The place’s looking good though. The voile drapes look brill Jon.
JON
Wait till you see what I did with the remnants. Costumes for us all. (He pulls out a shirt he has made) God, I’m so gifted.
LEEROY
Turquoise is not my colour.
JON
The gold trimming’ll suit you, and just look at these big ruffles. They’re to die for dear. You’ll look a dream.
TEEJAY
I’d pay to see that.
DEB
Just look on the bright side. The men’ll love you.
LEEROY
That’s what I thought.
JON
It’s better than that big plastic boil you wore for that cream commercial. (Mimics Leeroy’s voice) I’d like to finish this spot with a bit of Germaline.
(All laugh)
The biggest problem I have is what to do about my hair (he’s balding)
LEEROY
Get some.
MARCIA
It’s time to get serious now you guys. We’ve got forty eight hours left till lift off. When are you getting the groceries in Leeroy?
LEEROY
Tomorrow.
)
