---
Work Sketch
Very funny stuff! I like it!
If I had one suggestion though it would be to end it a bit earlier..maybe on the line:
Camera view shifts to show a huge pile of filing. Simon trudges over to this and bends down trying to pick it up.
END.
---
Bit punchier ending maybe?
Andy
I think you're right, Andy. I've just edited the rest out as it was a little flabby. I guess thats what happens if you have a pub lunch!
It's quite good, but I have a real feeling I've seen this elsewhere...?
like it Ben, another good sketch.
It's a bit like Fast Show where the dad criticises his kids all the time but still quite good.
I did my scripts by copying the way you do them, but niteowl tells me they are wrong. Some say this and some say that. How confident are you in your set-up?
Winterlight
I write my scripts in the above format on this site. They're easy to read that way and easy to type up on this site.
If I send anything off to competitions/companies, then I use scriptwriter software to make them look like professional scripts.
Nice one. I liked this bit,
Mr Grint: Well, we had staff shortages. And this is a family firm, so what else did you expect?
Simon: I know, but I just want to play.
Mr Grint: You’ve got plenty of time to play. I mean, you finish off at 5 o’clock.
Simon: But then you put me to bed at 6 o’clock
Quote: Winterlight @ January 4, 2008, 1:03 PMSimon: But I don’t know what a pibbot... a piggot...a p... a p... a p...
Mr Grint: A PIVOT TABLE!
For some reason, grown men screaming at kids is nearly always funny. Will Ferrell seems to have made a career of it. I guess it's the innapropriateness of the act that makes it work so well.
Quote: James Williams @ January 4, 2008, 4:28 PMIt's quite good, but I have a real feeling I've seen this elsewhere...?
Sorry to burst your bubble but James is right this is basically the Big Train sketch where child labour is used to write puns for a late night disc jockey.
Well yes it is pretty similar. I actually watched that sketch about a week ago. Mine has a family angle to it though....
Hi Winterlight
I was expecting him to go off on some sort of architecture beef after the drawing of the house. The pivot table thing just seems a bit... ordinary. I think you've missed the chance of using something a lot funnier and more ridiculous to shout at him with.
Dan
Quote: Winterlight @ January 8, 2008, 8:42 AMWell yes it is pretty similar. I actually watched that sketch about a week ago. Mine has a family angle to it though....
Oh its about family abuse, much funnier 