MUSIC: WEDDING MUSIC.
F/X: BELLS. CHEERS. CAR DOORS OPENING AND CLOSING. THE SOUND OF BELLS AND CHEERING IS MUFFLED.
HUSBAND:
The Savoy, please driver.
OTHER HUSBAND:
The Savoy? Wow, you’ve really pushed the boat out, haven’t you!
HUSBAND:
It’s our wedding, isn’t it? Well, civil partnership.
OTHER HUSBAND:
A Bentley! Very classy. You certainly do things in style.
HUSBAND:
You only get one wedding day. I wanted it to be special for you – for us.
OTHER HUSBAND:
I have to say, I was rather expecting a registry office over a church, really.
HUSBAND:
Come on, I ran it all by you, we planned it together!
OTHER HUSBAND:
I thought you were joking. You know I’m only doing this civil partnership thingummy for the tax break. Good old Cameron, who’d have thought the Conservatives would be supporting poofs? I thought you were doing it to save a bit of money too, but you must’ve blown a fortune on all this stuff today. Seems a bit pointless really. I felt bad enough tripping off all that guff about how we want to be together.
HUSBAND:
Guff? You thought I was joking? I-I thought you were joking. You know, about all that tax break stuff. It made me laugh. I… I love you.
OTHER HUSBAND:
Gosh! Now who’s feeling a silly sausage. And I felt pretty silly in there. A tad underdressed, to say the least.
HUSBAND:
Yes, there were comments about the T-shirt.
OTHER HUSBAND:
I should’ve worn a jumper, it was draughty in that church. I suppose it’s going to be embarrassing explaining this one to all your family and friends. It was nice to see them all, though… I thought they were having a good time!
HUSBAND:
I don’t understand how I’ve been so deluded.
OTHER HUSBAND:
Neither do I, I’m not even gay.
HUSBAND:
Not gay? We had sex last night.
OTHER HUSBAND:
Good God, did we? I must’ve been drunk.
END
