Int. Arthur’s front room.
Arthur (75) and Richard (75) are sat at a table enjoying a glass of Sherry.
Arthur: So here we are, Richard, both 75.
Richard: I know, Arthur. Your youth flies by so quickly doesn’t it.
Arthur: It seems only yesterday that we were out on the street. Young and hungry.
Richard: Damn that infernal rationing
Arthur. Yes, damn it to hell.
Richard: But, just like that nasty case of VD I had in ’56, things eventually got better.
Arthur: Yes, I’ve spent many a night wondering how things might have turned out. That is, if we hadn’t have gone into our particular trade.
Richard: We certainly made the right choice.
Arthur: Who could have foreseen it? Us two – fully qualified, professional liars.
Richard: True. And you had the genius idea of becoming a doctor ‘by day’.
Arthur: A role which proved priceless as a liar.
Richard: Such endless possibilities to play with.
Arthur: (CHUCKLES) You know, it wasn’t really VD you had in ’56!
Richard: Really? I thought it was a strange prognosis.
Arthur: Yes. What with you being a virgin ‘til 1958.
Arthur and Richard both nod fondly.
Richard: Then, of course, there was me. The ‘journalist’.
Arthur: Ah, I’ll never forget that weekend in ’59! You lied about Brando, Hepburn and the... the... what was it?
Richard: The welsh dresser.
Arthur: Of course! Of course!
Richard: I can honestly say that I lied with the very best of them.
Arthur: Yes, you certainly did. (BEAT) Including my wife.
Richard: Wh-what?
Arthur: I know that, that... you and Sandra once spent... an entire morning lying with each other.
Richard: Oh, um, I honestly can’t remember that. Are you sure?
Arthur: It was the 25th of April 1964.
Richard: My my, you have got a good memory haven’t you.
Arthur: Well, not many men forget their wedding day.
Richard: Ah, but rest assured if we do...
Arthur: Then we can always lie our way out of it!
Richard: Precisely! Now, I propose a toast. To Sandra!
Richard and Arthur clink their sherry glasses together.
Richard: The best lie we ever had.
© Ben Ricketts 2007
