British Comedy Guide

Excerpts from, Eats, Shoots And Gets Life.

Precepts for Writers
By J J Roberwitz.

(Excerpts from prize winner, Eats, Shoots and gets Life)

Grammar Made Simple.

Placing your conjoiners before nouns, and even worse, after adverbs, render your prepositions invalid.

A very good book to read is; Andrew Lloyd Weavers, ‘English as a Language’. Which deals with this common problem, and other grammatical problems of course.
(One couldn’t sell a book with just two lines in it. I’m sure you would agree.)

Another major problem with amateur writers, and I don’t know why because it is so simple, is using inappropriate nouns, before, after, and even during, pro-nouns and adverbs, and ‘Vici Verdi. This can cause great confusion, for instance, if instead of ‘Barrow’ we inadvertently used the noun ‘Spade’, not many holes would get dug.

A bank robber with a cucumber instead of a gun would soon be grammatically bankrupt.

So there it is, just remember the basics, a conjoiner to a writer is similar to a mortise and tenon to a carpenter; the timber being the ad-verb, the saw being the noun, and NEVER the other way round.

I hope to have explained away any Grammar Gremlins.
You can’t go wrong using this simple method.

Other best seller by same author,
Grammar Made Difficult.

Sorry but I just didn't think this was that funny.

eh?

Yeah, it was a bit too academic and even then it didn't really work. Reminiscent of supposedly humourous lecture hand-outs at uni only not done quite as well. Certainly, I don't reckon there's an audience for it. If you have to read it twice it seldom works. With comedy, that is. There's clearly a brain behind it though, which is nice. I also wish to steal your name, it's far better then mine.

Quote: James Williams @ December 31, 2007, 6:36 PM

Yeah, it was a bit too academic and even then it didn't really work. Reminiscent of supposedly humourous lecture hand-outs at uni only not done quite as well. Certainly, I don't reckon there's an audience for it. If you have to read it twice it seldom works. With comedy, that is. There's clearly a brain behind it though, which is nice. I also wish to steal your name, it's far better then mine.

Yeah - sorry about that. I'm one of the plebs you know.

Quote: David Chapman @ December 31, 2007, 6:38 PM

Yeah - sorry about that. I'm one of the plebs you know.

?

Blimey David, I've just entered your competition with it.
I wrote it thinking it might have been something that Ronnie Barker would have done. He did lots of 'experts' talking rubbish. There is a lot of them about you know.

Now you mention it, it does have a Ronnies ring to it. Still don't see where the actual jokes are though; it's silly, all right, but IMO if we're going to go down that path not silly or 'logical' or readily accessible enough.

James.But IMO if we're going to go down that path not silly or logical
or readily accessible enough? You did like it.

Hmm... when sketch writing I try to write in this way. Yeah, I liked it, in a way. Could be better though - it has potential. I mean, read it aloud and compare it with a Ronnies sketch and it's not so good - but then, a lot of the Ronnies's stuff was not so good! +Post at 12:00!! Happy New Year. (I've an excuse, I'm living in a pub!)

It would be funnier if the reader started off making sensible and accessible assertions and then tied himself in knots.

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