Restaurant Sketch

Int. Restaurant

Lee (30) and Sandra (25) are in a restaurant in a corner where the light is slightly dim, yet romantic. Sweet music gently plays in the background. The couple are, as of yet, without food.

Sandra: This is so romantic! Our first Valentines day and in my favourite restaurant!

Lee: Well, my dear, nothing is too much for a treasure such as yourself.

Sandra: Oh Lee, really, you shouldn’t say such things!

Lee: Be rest assured that it’s not the only thing I’ll be proposing tonight.

Sandra: Oooh you’ve got me intrigued now!

Lee: It’s something that I’ve been wanting to ask you for some time now.

Sandra: What is it?!

Lee: Sandra, I really would be honoured if...

The waiter appears with two bowls of soup. He places them with Lee and Sandra. They thank the waiter who exits.

Lee: Right, now what was I saying? Oh yes. Sandra, I find you to be such a...

Sandra picks up her bowl of soup and starts drinking it quickly. An occasional slobber is emitted.

Lee: (CONT...) beautiful thing to behold.

Sandra slams the empty bowl down and starts wiping her soup splattered chin with the tablecloth.

Lee: I can see us spending our...

Sandra emits a loud burp.

Lee: (CONT...) whole life together.

Sandra: Oh go on, go on. What was it you want to say?

Lee: Well, it’s so hard to say. I don’t know how....Well, I want to ask you...

Lee gets down on one knee.

Lee: Would you do me the...the...

Sandra: What? What?!

Lee: Would you do me the honour of (SMILES GENTLY) learning some f**king manners.

hi ben,

This doesn't quite work for me. The length and pacing are good, and the dialogue ok. I also think the Premise and middle are good but the ending just wasn't there.

Perhaps she was too disgusting. not sure.

As you say though you can't win them all.

I have to disagree. I liked this. It's not a side splitter but I liked it. This is one of those ones that I can see on the box.

Not for me either I'm afraid. Taking a classic set up and making a new twist is tres difficult mate.

Hey, it weren't bad. I can easily see it on a sketch show. The make or break of it would be down to the actors and directing.

I'd capitalize the last 4 words to indicate him shouting his lungs out and turning beet red, and I'd tack on an exclamation mark.

Actually I think Skibbington the cad has a point there. I think it could be 'Learn some f*cking manners!!!!' at full blast which silences the restaurant.

I think Skibbington is right. I need to change the polite delivery of "Learn some f**king manners" to an insanely angry delivery.

Oh yes, I agree. In fact I read it as an angry exclamation in the first place.