Ted and Jon

Scene 1 - int. sitting room - day

The traffic noise is streaming in through the open window. Jon is looking through the open window at the world outside.

jon
It's quiet this morning.

ted
Yes, it's quiet.

TED turns on the TV. The TV can't be heard over the traffic noise.

JON
What are you watching?

TED
(pointing to tv screen)
An old Chaplin movie

JON
What denomination?

TED
No, The Circus

JON
Would you risk putting your head into the mouth of a lion?

TED
Are you asking?

JON
Yes I am.

Jon takes his top off to reveal a lion's tatoo on his chest. He is roaring like a lion as Ted starts to unzip.

Sorry, mate, but I didn't really get this one.
I am a bit slow on the uptake, though, so it's probably me

Hi Marion, It's basically a cheap knob gag.

Yes, but what does TV, traffic and Chaplin have to do with your dick joke?

Quote: Dale Griffiths @ December 28, 2007, 7:53 AM

Hi Marion, It's basically a cheap knob gag.

View original

I feel a little silly now! Thanks for telling me

You didn't get the eating meat reference because you're a vegan, Marion.

This was too bizarre for me, Dale. It seemed like the porn channel remake of Mighty Boosh.

Sorry - I was totally lost too.

No - read it again and still don't understand. And I read Viz.

Ha really sorry, like I wrote this and the light bulb sketch at midnight yesterday I had had a few glasses and was basically trying out the new free script writing software I had downloaded called Celtx. This made me laugh at the time.

There was some logic behind it (or so I thought at the time) but as with the light bulb sketch not really worth explaining.

Been away for ages from the site I trust everyone is well. I've just sent my sitcom pilot to the BBC so am eagerly awaiting my rejection letter.

Quote: David Bussell @ December 28, 2007, 1:51 PM

Yes, but what does TV, traffic and Chaplin have to do with your dick joke?

View original

Right I feel like I need to have a go! Ted has resorted to watching only silent movies because of the traffic noise, Ted was watching a film called the Circus where Chaplin gets a job as a lion tamer and as well as trying to tame the beasts with the chairs and the whip also does the head in the lion's mouth bit. Hence the knob gag.

Like I said I shouldn't have posted it up, sorry.

Quote: Dale Griffiths @ December 28, 2007, 6:51 PM

Been away for ages from the site I trust everyone is well. I've just sent my sitcom pilot to the BBC so am eagerly awaiting my rejection letter.

View original

I hope it knows the way.

Quote: Dale Griffiths @ December 28, 2007, 6:51 PM

Ha really sorry, like I wrote this and the light bulb sketch at midnight yesterday I had had a few glasses and was basically trying out the new free script writing software I had downloaded called Celtx. This made me laugh at the time.

There was some logic behind it (or so I thought at the time) but as with the light bulb sketch not really worth explaining.

Been away for ages from the site I trust everyone is well. I've just sent my sitcom pilot to the BBC so am eagerly awaiting my rejection letter.

Right I feel like I need to have a go! Ted has resorted to watching only silent movies because of the traffic noise, Ted was watching a film called the Circus where Chaplin gets a job as a lion tamer and as well as trying to tame the beasts with the chairs and the whip also does the head in the lion's mouth bit. Hence the knob gag.

Like I said I shouldn't have posted it up, sorry.

I don't want to have to get annoyed with you but I will if you say stuff like 'I shouldn't have posted it up, sorry'.
Grrr

View original

For some reason it's inc'd my response in with your quote. Sorry!

Always post it if you can find no better home

Marion the reason I said that is that if you look at my previous material I do like to make sure it is slightly more polished before I bother posting it. On this occasion I had had a really nice evening with friends a few glasses of wine and decided to write a few pieces before hitting the sack. Consequently I didn't give it quite as much thought as I normally would but I still stand by the material and don't think it is that bad.

By the way feel free to say whatever you want rather than pretend you have slipped in a comment by mistake.

Quote: Dale Griffiths @ December 29, 2007, 12:41 AM

Marion the reason I said that is that if you look at my previous material I do like to make sure it is slightly more polished before I bother posting it. On this occasion I had had a really nice evening with friends a few glasses of wine and decided to write a few pieces before hitting the sack. Consequently I didn't give it quite as much thought as I normally would but I still stand by the material and don't think it is that bad.

By the way feel free to say whatever you want rather than pretend you have slipped in a comment by mistake.

View original

Hi, mate,
I'm glad that you had a lovely evening and felt comfortable enough to post your work to be looked at.
My comment was meant in the kindest of terms. Personally, I'm happy to reveal my work and hear what people think. Not everyone is happy to do that and might feel shy. I just wanted (with a smile) not to feel that way.
I am, however, a bit concerned that you think that 'I pretended to have slipped a comment in by mistake' since I did nothing of the sort.
I often make mistakes with this machine that leave my post looking rather odd. I'm sorry about that. I never, though, pretend to slip a comment in by mistake.

Hi Marion,
Fair enough, no hard feelings I hope. Have a great new year. Am in the middle of trying out a Jamie Oliver recipe, Chicken cooked in milk??? hmm possibly a bit adventurous when the sister in law is coming round for lunch.

Sounds dreadful. I'd give the milky chicken thing a miss as well if I were you.