INT: A MAN IS SAT AT HIS DESK. HE IS FLICKING THROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES. HE FINDS WHAT HE IS LOOKING FOR, STOPS AND DIALS A NUMBER INTO HIS PHONE.
MAN: Oh, hello there, is that Dr Hasbro?
CUTS TO HEAD SHOT OF OLD MAN IN WHITE DOCTORS' COAT ANSWERING PHONE.
DR HASBRO: Yes, this is Dr Hasbro of 'Hasbro's Hereditary Helpline', are you looking to track down a relative?
MAN: Yes, I've just found out my dad isn't, well, my dad and I've heard you can find out who my biological father is without any DNA tests or anything?
DR HASBRO: Indeed I can, all it takes is some simple questions, I enter the answers into my system and your father will be revealed.
MAN: Right, well great, can it be done over the phone?
DR HASBRO: It can be done right now in fact, lets begin the questions. Your father is male, correct?
MAN: Well, I should think so...
DR HASBRO: Ok...(seems to be tapping away at something out of shot)...and do you have blonde hair.
MAN: No...
DR HASBRO: Great, just hang on a second (taps away again) Black?
MAN: No, Gin...
DR HASBRO: Just 'yes' or 'no' answers please (taps away) Ginger?
MAN: (looks annoyed) Yes.
DR HASBRO: I see, and do you wear glasses.
MAN: I do.
DR HASBRO: Just 'yes' or 'no'...
MAN: (irritated) Yes.
DR HASBRO: (taps away) Do you have facial hair?
MAN: No, I shave everyday.
DR HASBRO: Excelent (taps away) Now this question is absolutly influential and you must answer truthfully, understood.
MAN: Of course.
DR HASBRO: Are you wearing a hat.
MAN: What...right now?
DR HASBRO: Yes right now, this is hugly important.
MAN: Umm, no, no I'm not...
DR HASBRO: Wonderful (taps away again) Well, in that case, I can tell you with a 95% certainty that your father is 'Phil'.
MAN: What...Phil? What do you mean 'Phil', Phil who?
DR HASBRO: I'm not sure...(camera pans back and he is looking at a 'Guess Who' game with one card left standing)...the computer just says 'Phil'.
END
