Wine Shop Sketch

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It did remind me a bit of Mr Logic in Viz I'm afraid and while it was fairly clever I didn't find my lips moving at either end upwards in an uncontrollable manner.

Nah, it's not that funny is it. I just learnt the word 'supercilious' this week and wanted to work it into a sketch somehow.

Also, there's some bitter rage about middle classers trying to slum it as working classers.

Yeah winter, I feel you went abit over the top just for a bit of a flat punchline, it seemed long winded mostly by the wording (partly by the length)... it's rare you miss the mark (with me anyway).

Worth a re-write in my opinion.

Well the wording was done in a way to highlight the fact that the lager drinker was some incredibly articulate individual who was attempting to slum it by being some sort of 'lager swilling wife beater'. Maybe I was trying to be too clever. It would have worked if I'd got some funny lines in it!

I found it hard to read and so probably missed something whilst struggling to remember whos line it was.

Its a bit flabby and in my opinion need shortening make the lines push along rather the slowly meander. THere is potential there just need to take it back and refine it down

To be fair i think that the different voices are well defined. One character is very articulate and the other isn't!

I could do a rewrite, but i'm going to take a 'sketch sabbatical' for a while as i'm starting work on a sitcom.

It wasnt an issue with the voices, just the formatting.