INT. ROOM. XMAS DAY
THE QUEEN IS USING HER NEW XMAS PRESENT (A CB RADIO)
QUEEN
Breaker, breaker.. 10-4 for a copy.. this is Embassy Regal.. any amigos got their ears on..
VOICE (shouting)
Your Majesty, its just gone 3pm.. you are live to the nation.
QUEEN
Bloody eyeballs!
VOICE
That's the sherry, Your Majesty.
ENDS.
amendment, 3.5 hours later.. i think its an improvement.
Fun idea but but it didn't quite work for me as it stands. I didn't understand the, bloody eyeballs - no, it's the sherry, bit I'm afraid. It could just be my sense of humour or lack of brain. 
Have a fiddle around with the words at the end and, in my opinion, you could really tighten it.
Is it set in 1981? Maybe put Diana in the scene?
I don't think many people are going to get both senses of 'bloody eyeballs'.
Now you've got me at it 
What are bloody eyeball, then?
a bit obscure perhaps..
CB or not CB that is the question.
Happy Xmas and a preposterous New Year anyway folks.
That's the second punchline I've failed to understand today. Are people trying out their weird stuff for xmas or something?
Nigel, it may be more obscure than you think.
If (as a quick CB slang search suggests) 'eyeballs' are face-to-face meetings, wouldn't the Queen say 'bloody eyeballs' for Garden Parties, etc rather than when making a broadcast?
I think this one is too short. There is not enough of a joke here.
I looked at the punchline, had a beer, and looked again but still nothing. Still, could be worse, Princess Diana could be dead.
Thanks for the feedback folks. Good constructive criticism.
I hope you get what you want from Santa.. or should that be 'what you deserve'.