The pot calling the kettle.

SCENE, A FOOTBALL MATCH BETWEEN LIVERPOOL AND PORTSMOUTH. SOL CAMPBELL GOES IN LATE ON STEVIE GERARD TAKING HIS LEGS FROM UNDER HIM, GERARD IS CLEARLY IN A LOT OF PAIN. CAMPBELL STANDS OVER HIM.

SOL: Come on get up! Don't be a f**king wuss, come on you ponce! get up!

REF: Number 5! come here now!

SOL: Come on ref, i never touched him, he dived honest.

REF: Name?

SOL: What? You have to be joking, you're not booking me for that.

REF: Name! Now!

SOL: I don't believe this! You're a joke ref, a wanker, a complete waste of space.

REF: Right son! You've just got yourself a red card.

SOL: You're kidding me, for that? you're a disgrace ref! I wouldn't let you take charge of a raffle never mind a football match, you're a joke man, a f**king wanker.

REF: Off the pitch ! Now!

AS SOL IS LEAVING THE PITCH, HE CONTINES TO BERRATE THE REF. A SECTION OF THE CROWD BEGIN CHANTING, WANKER AIMED AT SOL.
AS HE GETS TO THE DUG OUT HE SCREAMS BACK AT THE CROWD.

SOL: I don't have to take this, i'm a professional footballer, a sportsman, you lot are infringing my human rights.

Is this supposed to be something he said?

Yeh I get it. I didn't at first but then I'm thick. It's the old hypocrisy angle. I like it as more of a statement than anything else. But then I'm a qualified referee [rugby not footy] so I would

Quote: David Chapman @ December 20, 2007, 9:44 PM

Is this supposed to be something he said?

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Yeah, this week he said footballers shouldn't get abuse from the crowd - completely missing the irony of going up to the ref and shouting in his face for 20 minutes as you see on every pitch in the top flight.

It's all part of the fun- abusing the players. For the money they take home (I nearly said earn) that's a small price to pay.

At the games I go to everyone in the ground can hear me shouting. I love getting players booked.

By the way - as you know I'm an ex-football referee.

Quote: David Chapman @ December 21, 2007, 7:29 PM

By the way - as you know I'm an ex-football referee.

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YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING . . . YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING . . . etc.

"Ref, send the lino off" made me chuckle at Cheltenham v Luton last week.

Quote: Seefacts @ December 21, 2007, 8:28 PM

"Ref, send the lino off" made me chuckle at Cheltenham v Luton last week.

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Don't they play on grass there then?

Quote: David Chapman @ December 21, 2007, 8:37 PM

Don't they play on grass there then?

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If the game had been at Kenilworth Road that joke would have worked quite well, what with them playing on astro-turf.

Obviously Cheltenham is quite posh, we should play on a laminate floor. But no, it's grass.

Quote: Seefacts @ December 21, 2007, 8:41 PM

Obviously Cheltenham is quite posh, we should play on a laminate floor. But no, it's grass.

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They're all Laydees there aren't they?

Quote: David Chapman @ December 21, 2007, 8:50 PM

They're all Laydees there aren't they?

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Bar me, of course.

*pretends to know what you're talking about* Yep, that David Beckham's a one, ain't 'e?

Sorry Aaron.

Did anyone see what that c*nt Roy Keane said about he wished he could have done a Cantona.

Cantona should have been banned for life for what he did and I'm just sorry that nobody finished Keane's career with a filthy foul.

He almost did it himself with the tackle of Alf Inge Haaland, Keene came off worst, sadly, he did walk again.

Quote: Ray Dawson @ December 22, 2007, 11:14 PM

He almost did it himself with the tackle of Alf Inge Haaland, Keene came off worst, sadly, he did walk again.

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As much as it pains me to defend Keane - I think that's a bit of a football myth.

It was Haaland's other knee that forced him to retire, and I think he even played in City's next game.

That could all be total balls though.

He was playing for Leeds at the time, and missed about 4 games, Keene was out for about two months.