I found my way to the 4Laughs website and it would seem that the closing date was the 10th, which is a bit of a bummer. Still, I stoically submitted some stuff anyway, just to annoy everyone. Here's the varying quality of what I came up with:
New Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg admitted this week that he does not believe in God - leaving the party to rethink their strategy for the next election.
A secondary school teacher in India has been arrested after disciplining his pupils with electric shocks. He is being charged with battery.
Radio One has reversed its decision to censor The Pogues’ Christmas hit Fairytale In New York. A BBC spokesman said: ‘At first we didn’t agree with the ‘slut’ and ‘faggot’ - but then decided Sara Cox and Chris Moyles were right, and now play the song in full.’
Home Secretary Jack Straw has unveiled new plans giving the public more power to tackle criminals. In the past, cheating crooks have been able to rob the public blind, effectively without fear of reprimand. Unfortunately the changes will come in too late to affect Tony Blair.
A Northern Irish man has been awarded compensation after he was turned away from a nightclub for being too ugly. Raymond Crowe suffers from a facial disfigurement and is sick of being judged by his looks. He said: “When I asked the Equality Commission for compensation, they all hid in a cupboard, crying ‘the money’s in the safe, just take it and leave us alone.’”
Al-Qaeda has invited people to submit questions for an open interview with Ayman al-Zawahiri. The terrorist, who advocates beheadings and even claims he was behind the London bombings, decided on the format after finding Jeremy Paxman too abrasive.
Churches in the Midlands are opening their doors to ‘mystery worshippers’ – ordinary people posing as church-goers, who score the service out of a hundred. The church is of course keen to clean up its image after being repeatedly rocked by sex scandals. In fact study organiser Benita Hewitt said: "Most of our mystery worshippers were genuinely surprised by the warmth of their experience in church and some were even keen to go back for more." [Genuine quote.]
