Since I'm rather slow on the uptake I don't normally write topical comedy
So, I am pleased to present you with a little something that I prepared earlier.
BUSTED.
EXT. DAY. PARK.
A GROUP OF POLICE MEN ARE HUNCHED IN A BUSH. THEY TALK IN WHISPERS AND ARE WATCHING TWO SHIFTY CHARACTERS (SELLER AND BUYER) DOING A DEAL.
POLICEMAN 1. (listening to the deal using headphones) He’s just handing him the bag, Gov. The cash has been exchanged.
YOU SEE THE SELLER HAND A PACKAGE TO BUYER WHO PASSES A BAG ACROSS. THEY BOTH CHECK THE CONTENTS.
GOV. (looking pleased with himself) Right, people, get ready to move.
POLICEMAN. 2. (puts hand to ear and listens carefully to message in earpiece) Hang on.
EVERYONE PAUSES IN ANTICIPATION.
POLICEMAN.1 What’s up Sarge?
POLICEMAN 2. (stands up, stops whispering) Ok, that’s it, we’re on strike.
POLICEMAN 2 BEGINS TO WALK OUT FROM BUSHES.
POLICEMAN 2. (cont) Everyone out. We’re officially on strike.
SUDDENLY THE BUSHES BEGIN TO MOVE ABOUT. THEY ARE POLICEMEN IN DISGUISE. PASSERS BY AND DOGS START TO DOWN TOOLS AND YOU REALISE THAT THEY ARE ALL POLICE OFFICERS UNDERCOVER.
SELLER. What’s going on?
BUYER. Looks like we’re on strike, I’m afraid. (holds the bag of drugs up)
SELLER. You a copper?
BUYER. Afraid so. (looks slightly embarrassed)
SELLER. And the union have called a strike? (looks at the money)
BUYER. (listens to a message in his earpiece) Apparently one of our officers was called a pig, which, obviously would cause him distress and they have refused to allow him to see a support worker and councillor.
SELLER. (looks socked) F**king disgusting! (listens to earpiece) Ok, everybody, one out, all out.
SUDDENLY THE REST OF THE BUSHES AND EVERYBODY ELSE IN THE PARK STOPS AND IT IS OBVIOUS THAT EVERYONE IN THE PARK IS A COPPER. A BEWILDERED YOUNG GUY WANDERS AROUND WITH A DOG.
BUYER. Are you a copper, too.
SELLER. Yeah.
LAD WITH DOG WALKS PAST A COPPER DISGUISED AS A BUSH. DOG COCKS LEG UP BUSH/COPPER.
BUSH/COPPER. (to dog) You’re nicked.
DOG. Scab.