A well dressed man walks into a right Chavvy pub. As he walks in there is total silence.
Man:
Do you have a winelist?
Landlord:
Winelist?!? You're bummed!
Man:
Bummed? Don't you mean barred?
Landlord:
No, you're screwed
All the Chavs jump in and beat up the man.
(I've started the car running. Just thought it had quite a good tempo to it)
The setup whilst not original is fine, it's just the words you've chosen and the order you've put them in is all wrong 
But seriously, the choice of words, bummed, barred and f**ked aren't, for me, worthy of a sketch. The actual a structure of the sketch is fine, but maybe you should find better words?
It's late a night, so I apologise if this doesn't make sense.
I like the bummed and barred bits cos they sort of sound similar but i think the f word should be changed. Maybe to screwed or something like that. And also I agree about the strcuture aswell.
Changed it a bit what do you think of it now?
Please everyone else be as harsh as you like. this sketch needs work.
I too think you need a longer and possibly different conversation between the well dressed man and the landlord...
...if that's possible...
The chavs beating him up seems rather unfunny at the mo? Of course, others may find it screwing hilarious!
Frankie xxx
Great for standup Adders. Drag it out a tad & it will go down well. Unlike my husband! 