British Comedy Guide

stoned

Bet this has been done to death but, if it's good for the Flintstones then it's good for me! :D

Stoned.

INT. STONE AGE CAVE. NIGHT.

A GROUP OF THREE WOMEN AND THEIR THREE HUSBANDS SIT AROUND A TABLE. THERE IS A FIRE BURNING IN THE BACKGROUND. THE CROCKERY AND CUTLERY IS ALL CARVED FROM STONE AND FLINT.
IT RESEMBLES A MODERN DAY DINNER PARTY.

HOSTESS. That dress, darling, you look divine.

WOMAN 2 SHOWS OFF THE (FAKE!) ANIMAL SKIN DRESS.

WOMAN 2. Thank you.

HUSBAND 2. Cost enough!

WOMAN 2. Darling!

MAN 3. I like it.

WOMAN 3. You can shut up.

EVERYONE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY.

HOST. Top up, anyone?

HOLDS UP A STONE BOTTLE AND GOES TO POUR ONLY TO FIND IT EMPTY.

HOST. (cont) Sorry, folks. (calls) Giles.

BUTLER APPEARS.

WOMAN 2. (to husband) Darling, we should be making a move.

MAN 2. Sorry, but ‘she who must be obeyed’ has spoken, we’d better get going.

MAN 3. Us too.

WOMAN 3. Babysitter.

MAN 2 AND MAN 3 WALK BEHIND THEIR WIVES, THEY HOLD THEIR WIVES HAIR AND DRAG THEM OFF THE CHAIRS.
HOSTESS KISSES THE MEN AND BENDS TO KISS THE WOMEN. HOST BENDS TO KISS THE WOMEN AND SHAKES THE MEN’S HANDS.
ALL OF THE GROUP SAY THEIR THANK YOUS AND GO TO EXIT. THE WOMEN ARE BEING DRAGGED.

MAN 3. (remembers) Oh, my club.

HOST FINDS IT AND HANDS IT OVER.

WOMAN 2. (from floor) Fantastic evening. See you soon and thanks.

THE MEN DRAG THE WOMEN OUT OF THE CAVE DOOR. HEARD FROM OUTSIDE.

WOMAN 3. What did you mean, you liked her dress?

THE SOUND OF BICKERING VOICES RECEDES INTO THE DISTANCE.

WOMAN 3. Mind that rock, you did that on purpose, didn't you

I liked the concept and ideas, but think perhaps it needs a stronger end. I was thinking this is building up nicely, telling a good story...then I got to the end and thought it was a bit weak. The 'what do you mean you liked her dress' bit was good, but I felt the sketch needed more, as it didn't reach the climax I wanted it to.

Trust the bloke for blaming the woman when he doesn't get the climax that he wanted!!!!!

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