EXT. STREET. NIGHT.
A MAN (TERRY) AND A MAN DRESSED AS SOME KIND OF MAN\SNAIL HYBRID (GARY) ARE WALKING DOWN THE STREET. TERRY IS MUNCHING ON A KEBAB AND GARY IS STUFFING SOME CHIPS IN HIS MOUTH. GARY ABRUPTLY STOPS>
GARY
Hang on did you put salt on there?
TERRY
Ooops.
GARY
Bugger.
GARY STARTS BUBBLING FROM THE MOUTH AND COLLAPSING.
END
also funny
Even better!!! 
Fabulous!
Nice again! 
Thanks for you kind words, was trying to envoke the power of three as it were, but couldn't come up with a 3rd scenario. ideas welcome?
I loved this idea. I thought that the salt was great. The other thing that they use for slugs and snails is sand. What about a beach holiday?
Poor snail 
Maybe the man discovers Gary's terrible secret that he is some sort of pre-op slug transexual waiting to be fully transformed into a snail.
Quote: Winterlight @ December 8, 2007, 10:16 AMMaybe the man discovers Gary's terrible secret that he is some sort of pre-op slug transexual waiting to be fully transformed into a snail.
I hope that you are not alluding to the fact that Marion and Danny have turned into Danion and are attempting to cover the world in slime?
Both sketches very funny.
How about:
EXT. STREET. NIGHT.
A MAN (TERRY) AND A MAN DRESSED AS SOME KIND OF MAN\SNAIL HYBRID (GARY) ARE WALKING DOWN THE STREET TOWARDS A NIGHTCLUB.
QUEUING OUTISIDE THE CLUB ARE A GROUP OF SIMILARLY DRESSED MEN (PHIL, STEVE, MIKE AND TREVOR)
TERRY:
All right guys!
MIKE:
Hi Terry!
STEVE:
All right Gary.
THEY ALL HAVE A MANLY HUG, CHEERING AND LAUGHING, WHICH LASTS FOR SEVERAL SECONDS. THEY BREAK UP, LOOKING SLIGHTLY BEMUSED.
TERRY:
I think I'm pregnant.
PHIL:
Yeah, me too.
I like both these man-snail sketches. Excellent. The salt one is best but both funny!
Hmm, thinking snails... How about:
Gary and Terry strolling down a suburban street.
GARY THE SNAIL:
I've been having problems getting my post, how about you?
TERRY:
Can't say I have. I got a letter just this morning.
GARY THE SNAIL:
I get the letters, that's not the problem.
A postman is walking behind them. He checks the address on a bunch of letters - they must be for Gary. He studies Gary's shell for a while, then puts the letters in Gary's mouth.
(Or some other gag about carrying your home on your back..? Lots of potential in snail sketches I think!)
Quote: Winterlight @ December 8, 2007, 10:16 AMMaybe the man discovers Gary's terrible secret that he is some sort of pre-op slug transexual waiting to be fully transformed into a snail.
Aren't snails hermaphrodites?
Quote: Wildjesusfishkid @ December 8, 2007, 10:41 PMAren't snails hermaphrodites?
Yes, that was my joke. Although maybe hugging doesn't quite translate as sex in my suggestion!!
Very good. Who'd have thought snail humour was a comedy goldmine (not me, i'm a bit slow)
Again. FanTabUlous! You cooont!