Chicken.
INT. EVENING. HOUSE.
MAN WALKS IN THE FRONT DOOR. HE IS GREETED BY HIS MOTHER-IN-LAW(MIL). SHE LOOK CONCERNED.
MAN. (pleasantly surprised) Hi, what are you doing here?
MIL. It’s Claire, I just popped round to see her and she was laid out on the settee. She’s got the flu, or something. She’s really not very well at all. I tucked her up in bed and made her comfy.
MAN PUSHES PAST HER AND MAKES HIS WAY TO THE BEDROOM. HE OPENS THE DOOR. CLAIRE LOOKS ILL.
MAN. Darling!
HE HOLDS HER HAND.
CLAIRE. Sorry, love! (she coughs and sneezes)
MAN SITS ON THE BED AND BEGINS TO COMFORT HER.
MAN. What’s up.
CLAIRE. Well, my throat is so sore (she can barely speak).
MAN SITS FOR A MOMENT, HOLDS HIS OWN THROAT.
MAN. Now you come to mention it, mine’s been sore.
CLAIRE. And I’ve got this dreadful cough.
MAN COUGHS.
CLAIRE. I’m so hot, the sweat is pouring off me.
MAN PULLS HIS JACKET OFF, REMOVES HIS SHIRT AND GRADUALLY STARTS TO GET INTO BED BESIDE HER.
MIL ENTERS WITH A HOT DRINK FOR HER. MAN REACHES UP PATHETICALLY.
MIL. I’ve sent for the doctor.
MAN. It’s just as well.
THERE’S A KNOCK AT THE DOOR.
MIL. That must be the doctor. I’ll let him in.
MIL EXITS LEAVING MAN AND CLAIRE IN BED. MAN BEGINS TO WAIL AND ROLL AROUND.
CLAIRE. Darling, are you ok?
SHE ATTEMPTS TO GET UP AND COMFORT HIM BUT STUMBLES IN HER WEAKNESS.
MAN. I’m dying.
DOCTOR ENTERS AND MIL DIRECTS HIM TO CLAIRE WHO IS LYING ON THE FLOOR. HE EXAMINES HER.
DR. As I thought, she has bird flu. This can be very nasty.
DOCTOR WALKS ROUND TO MAN. BEGINS TO EXAMINE HIM.
DR. (alarmed) Send for an ambulance. He has a very serious case of Man flu.
Not that I'm bitter or anything!
