Dinner Party Sketch

Int. Brian and Jenny’s ‘front room’ – 19.00

Brian and Jenny are sat at a dining table. They are both in their early 30's and are vaguely upper working class. Jenny has a notepad in front of her.

Jenny: So, who exactly are we going to invite to this dinner party?

Brian: Do we really have to have one? I mean, they’re such pretentious affairs.

Jenny: YES! We do have to have one. Now, start thinking. Who can we invite?

Brian: Cor, that’s a tough one. So many things have to be taken into consideration. If we get the mix of people just ever so slightly wrong, then it’ll be a social disaster. I don’t think we should risk it, to be honest.

Jenny: Well Sandra and James are definitely getting an invite.

Brian: Hang on, hang on! You know how argumentative they get after a few drinks.

Jenny: Oh yes, that’s a good point. Better cross that one out. How about Mr Simpkins from next door?

Brian: Hmmm, well, I think he’s a bit too shy for dinner parties.

Jenny: I suppose so. What about my friend, Sally?

Brian: Her fingernails are too long.

Jenny: What?

Brian: They’re too long. Far too long for a dinner party. C’mon, fire some more names off.

Jenny: Would your Uncle Pete come?

Brian: He’d love to come!

Jenny: Ah excellent.

Brian: But, he’s booked up solid for dinner parties until next March.

Jenny: Well how about your mate Phil?

Brian: He won’t be in the mood. He’s caught herpes.

Jenny: Oh right. You know, I think your mother would love to come.

Brian: Nah, she’s got herpes as well. (GRIMACES) Don’t ask

Jenny: GAAHHHH! Look, Brian, stop fobbing me off with these ridiculous excuses.

Brian: I’m not! I’m not! The right names just aren’t coming up.

Jenny: Hmph! Well how about your boss? It could do your career some good if we invited him.

Brian: He’s too busy selling state secrets to the Russians.

Jenny: What about Mike from your office? Surely he’s free?!

Brian: He’s not been seen since the boss accused him of working for MI6.

Jenny: GAAAHHH! Why are you being so difficult?!

Brian: Look, I’m not. I just want this party to be special. We need special people for it.

Jenny: (GETTING ANGRY) Oh yeah? Well how ‘bout we ask the Dalai Lama?

Brian: All he’d do is waffle on about logarithmic algorithms all night.

Jenny: Maybe Archbishop Desmond Tutu then?

Brian: No, no. I can’t stand those brown trousers he insists on wearing.

Jenny: Well what about the bloody 1968 European Cup Winning Manchester United Squad?!

Brian: Darling, you know I’m a Spurs fan through and through.

Jenny screams and then throws the notepad onto the floor. She holds her head in her hands.

Jenny: (ENRAGED) JESUS CHRIST!

There is a slight pause.

Brian: But I always thought you were an atheist.

THE END

© BEN RICKETTS 2007

Very nice. Very nice indeed. I don't think we need to know the exact time the event takes place though. A brief description of the characters would help also. Are they poshos?

I added a bit more description. The time setting I suppose is quite useless for sketches, it's just a force of habit from when I was writing a sitcom earlier in the year! Thanks for the kind words though, David!

I don't hink any description is needed. The characters make it.

The guests are a bit random which adds to it.

Good stuff, made me chuckle. Just think it might work better if the excuses for not inviting people got gradually more surreal, it was kind of like that already, maybe just emphasise it a bit more? Start with a couple of duller ones perhaps. Liked it a lot though. :-)

I know what u mean jo. I've tried to start dull and get more surreal, but the surrealness could do with upping a notch!

I know what u mean jo. I've tried to start dull and get more surreal, but the surrealness could do with upping a notch!