This is a sketch I wrote about 6 weeks ago and have had kicking about.
Int. Hallway - Morning
A man is looking through the spyhole of the front door. A woman walks up behind him.
Woman: Are you ready to go?
Man stays silent.
Woman: Are you ready to go?
Man gets up and looks concerned.
Man: He’s back again!
Woman: (Tired) Here we go again!
Man: It’s a menace that no man should have to face.
Woman: Look, I’ve told you about this.
Man: He wants to.... He wants to suck the life out of me.
Woman: Do you really want to have to go and see the doctor again?
Man: Why does he stalk me so? What have I done to upset him?
Woman: And, tell me again, who is it?
Man: The reincarnation of Acolmiztli!
Woman: Oh yes that’s right. How could I forget! The Aztec god of the underworld has chosen to return to earth. Barnstaple to be precise.
Man: You just take a look for yourself.
Woman: Do I have to? It’s just going to be the same as the last 117 times.
The man nods and the woman starts looking through the spyhole. She sighs and then looks back at the man
Woman: It’s just a cat. Mrs Henderson’s cat.
Man: Just a cat?! Look at its intimidating gait ! It’s the most sinister thing I’ve ever seen. He’s after my soul for sure. Yours too probably.
Woman: Look, just get your hat. We’re going out.
Man: Hat?! It’ll take more than that to see off the fearsome Acolmiztli. (Stroking his chin) Some sort of tanzanite dagger is what I need.
Woman: Right, I’ve had enough of this. Get your bloody hat.
Man: No, No, I’m definitely not coming. Not whilst he’s out there. I’m going to hide in the front room.
Man departs to the front room
Woman: I’ve had enough of this.
Woman departs out the front door. She comes back in with a grey cat under her arm. She goes through to the front room.
Man: (O.O.V) Oh you’re staying in as well are you, dear. A cup of tea would be....OH MY GOD! ACOLMIZTLI!!
The man starts screaming and then the sound of glass smashing is heard
Cut to: Woman looking at broken glass window and shaking her head as the cat sits on the windowsill. Distant screams are heard.
Woman: Twat.
© Ben Ricketts 2007
