After last nights faux pas in rehashing one of Rays ideas. I've decided to have another go at copying a Ray idea, and try a short sketch based on the BBC show Not Going Out. Obviously non of the characters are mine.
Actually it quite a nice exercise to try, as its such a joke led show. And yes as Ray pointed out to me I shouldn't of finished it where I have, but perhaps you'll see why.
SITTING ROOM. THE DOOR BELL RINGS AND LEE GETS UP AND OPENS IT CARRYING A BOOK. TIM IS AT THE DOOR
TIM: Are you reading a book?
LEE: No, I'm hoping to swat a giant fly!
TIM: Boy I can't recall ever seeing you read a book before.
LEE: Yes the last time I read one they were only available in black and white. You really make me out to sound like a Philistine.
TIM: Do you even know what a Philistine was?
LEE: Yeah, I used to go to school with him. Nice lad with a lazy eye! Anyway Lucy Recommended it.
TIM: Oh (Smiles) Lucy recommended it huh. Normally you only read a book if its recommended by Lego. Who's is it?
LEE: It's Lucy's
TIM: No who wrote it.
LEE: Jilly Cooper. Yes its a complicated tale set amongst the socio-ecomonic turmoil of the equine industry.
TIM: Is there a lot of sex in it?
LEE: Yes its absolutely disgusting. You know its like actual hardcore pornography, except you can look at it on the tube.
TIM: You still banned from the London Underground.
LEE: Yep.
Lucy Enters
LUCY: I think its good that Lee's reading. It will help expand his mind.
TIM: I think its more likely to expand his pants.
LEE: No Lucy is right. Far too often we just watch TV for the sake of it, when we could be sitting down, relaxing and reading a really good book instead.
TIM: So you've lost the remote then?
LEE: Yeah three days. You don't what happened on Eastenders do you?.
LUCY: I was flicking through the channels a few weeks ago, and saw this documentry. Apparentely every time you watch some reality TV, you lose ten thousand brain cells.
TIM: So Lee proves the scientists wrong and that it is possible to have negative numbers of brain cells.
LEE: Do you mind I'm trying to read.
TIM: What are you doing here anyway. Aren't you supposed to be out selling tooth rotting, artery blocking treats to small children?
LUCY: He thinks he's been fired.
TIM: How can you think you've been fired. You either have or you haven't?
LEE: Well I won't know for sure until my boss comes out of his coma!
TIM: Gawd, you've been fired more times than Arnold Swartenegger's Ouzzi. What happened?
LUCY: There was a fire at the depot where Lee works.
TIM: You caused a fire at an Ice Cream depot?
LEE: I didn't mean to but it was bloody freezing in there!
BAR. LEE AND TIM SITTING AT THE BAR DRINKING
TIM: So now you've lost your job. What are you going to use for money?
LEE: I was hoping to continue using those little bits of rectangular paper, and round metal things.
TIM: Seriously. You can't of made much money working as an Ice Cream man?
LEE: You try telling that to Ben & Jerry
TIM: So you are okay for money then?
LEE: Yeah fine. Couldn't lend us twenty quid could you?
TIM: What don't you have any savings?
LEE: Of course. It's just that it will take me a few days to get hold of the actual funds.
TIM: Is it one of those high interest accounts that you have to give thirty days notice to get access?
LEE: Not really. I'm just having difficulty getting the lid of the jar.
I quite like it!!!! 
Bet you feel like a right twerp, now. I noticed that. 
Everyone knows that you spell it phillystien 