(Antiques dealer sits at table in ‘antiques roadshow’ style shot. There is an elderly woman sitting opposite. The dealer is closely examining a small decorative antique box. The woman speaks nervously.)
Woman: I’m not really sure what it was for originally. I’ve been using it to keep my sweets in for years, ha!
(dealer laughs politely, still studying the box closely)
Woman: my mother gave it to me. its been in my family for years. Goodness knows how much its worth, but I thought I’d come along and find out. You never know, ha!
(again dealer laughs politely but he is still studying the box closely. There are few seconds silence before the dealer slowly raises his head to talk to the woman)
Dealer: so how much do you think its worth?
Woman: well, I…….. I don’t know, I was hoping you could maybe tell me, ha!
Dealer: oh, right (starts to examine the box again)………………………well lets see…………………it’s a small, wooden box…………………..its got these little patterns on it, which is good………………………I think its really quite old, possibly used to store some kind of medieval trinkets………………….. or combs …………………………..erm…………………(begins to open and close the box) it opens, and closes…………er…………probably once owned by a king, or a damsel.
Woman: really?
Dealer: (shrugs) maybe.
Woman: oh, well that’s wonderful. So, how much do you think it would be worth now?
Dealer: (again studies the box closely) well, I don’t know really………………er………………..see the thing is, I don’t really know what I’d do with it.
Woman: oh, ok. What do you mean exactly?
Dealer: well its just a bit of an awkward size really. I mean, what’s it for?
Woman: well…………. I…………
Dealer: (opening the box and looking disdainfully at it) look, you couldn’t even use it for pens…………………well maybe if you put them in diagonally…………………..but then you wouldn’t be able to fit very many in……………………………..you know, I could probably go down to Staples, or Office World, and I could get a box made specifically for pens which could fit, like , hundreds in it………………maybe other types of stationary as well………………………and it’ll probably be pretty cheap.
(long silence)
Woman: oh, so is it not worth very much then?
Dealer: (shrugs) sorry……………I just don’t really like it.
Woman: oh……………………
(there is a long silence. the woman looks a little sad. The dealer looks around awkwardly trying to think of something to say)
Dealer: (exhales loudly) I’ll give you a fiver for it.
Woman: Really?................... ok then
(dealer reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out the note then hands it to the woman)
Woman: thankyou.
(pause)
Dealer: was there anything else?
Woman: oh…………..no…………….(gets up and starts to leave)…………..thankyou…………goodbye.
Dealer: bye.
(dealer is left sitting alone at the table looking at the box in front of him. He opens the box, then takes a pen from his jacket pocket. He tries to fit the pen diagonally into the box but it won’t fit. He scoffs loudly and pushes the box away in disgust.)
...................opinions?