Int. Fortune Telling room – 19.00
Ray (25), is sat at Madam Zelda’s table. Madam Zelda is looking into a crystal ball and running her hands over it.
Zelda: So then, Ray, what would you like me to tell you.
Ray: Well I want to know if I’ll ever meet my father again. He left home when I was two and I’ve always wanted to meet him.
Madam Zelda stares deep into the crystal ball.
Madam Zelda: I’m getting something. It’s still forming. Ah yes, there is a man of some years standing with yourself.
Ray: It must be my father. And what are we doing?
Zelda: The older man appears to be saying something to you.
Ray: Really?! What’s he saying?
Madam Zelda starts doing some heavy breathing.
Zelda: “Luke, I am your father.”
Ray: Luke? But my names Ray…. Wait a minute! That’s The Empire Strikes Back.
Madam Zelda looks up and thinks for a moment.
Zelda: Oh I am sorry! I was watching it with my Grandson the other evening! It’s one of his favourite films.
Ray: Whatever. Anyway, do you think you could tell me if I’m ever going to get married?
Madam Zelda starts looking into the ball again.
Zelda: Ah yes, this one is coming through very clear. You appear to be standing at a bar. A beautiful woman has just walked through the doors.
Ray: My future wife, perhaps. What’s happening now?
Zelda: You’re saying something, it’s a bit distorted though.
Ray: What is it? What am I saying?!
Madam Zelda looks up at Ray.
Zelda: “Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine.”
Ray: Gin joint?! Hang on, that’s Casablanca! What d’you take me for?!
Zelda: Is it? Oh that’s strange. Aha! I watched it last Sunday with my sister!
Ray: Right, I’ve had enough of this. You’re a fake and not a very good one. I’m leaving.
Ray gets up and starts to leave. Zelda looks back at the crystal ball.
Zelda: Oh wait, something is coming through now. It’s most important. You must stay and listen.
Ray: Oh yeah?! What is it? Jurassic bloody Park?! I think I’ll take my chances with the T-Rex’s if you don’t mind.
Ray storms out. Madam Zelda looks up.
Zelda: Well I was about to say you’re going to get run over in 20 seconds.
Madam Zelda looks at her watch. The sound of screeching brakes and then a loud thud are heard. Madam Zelda looks up.
Zelda: I told you.