British Comedy Guide

General Election 2024 Page 10

Quote: lofthouse @ 1st June 2024, 10:21 PM

I see the tories are now pretty much resorting to bribing Pensioners to get their votes

Maybe they think Pensioners have forgotten this...

... ...

Roughly translated as "f**k em' they are old and will snuff it soon anyway"

Which is basically what I conceded (about myself) when it all kicked off:

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 3rd March 2020, 4:16 PM

My first thoughts were that, perhaps, I should stay within the safety of Bunter Court but then I thought that I am probably due to die in the next three and a half years anyway (when I reach my allotted three score years and ten) and this is probably going to be not so long drawn-out and a, hopefully, less painful way of doing so than many of the alternatives so I've decided to carry on while I can.

It's my great-niece and great-nephew, aged 7 and 4 respectively, and those family members immediately responsible for their on-going care, that I am more concerned about.

Quote: chipolata @ 2nd June 2024, 9:38 AM

Bloody hell, Lazzard, I hope your scripts have less cliches than those two sentences!

Clichés are usually true-isms.
I just hate the 'policy of despair' (another cliché for you😁) that says that nothing you do makes a difference.

And, no - my scripts always get a thorough vetting for clichés, as tempting as they are - if not by me, then by some other bastard.

Quote: Lazzard @ 2nd June 2024, 11:26 AM

Clichés are usually true-isms.
I just hate the 'policy of despair' (another cliché for you😁) that says that nothing you do makes a difference.

d.

I tend to agree. There's a strand of performative cynicism that's a bit tedious.

Quote: Lazzard @ 2nd June 2024, 9:28 AM

Trouble is, you're either part of the problem, or part of the solution.
In the end, everyone has to pick a side.

Not me.I always vote for the protest candidate like the MRLP

Quote: Lazzard @ 2nd June 2024, 9:28 AM

Trouble is, you're either part of the problem, or part of the solution.
In the end, everyone has to pick a side.

Not if you have opted out of the system for a number of years (now) and shred your poll card as soon as it comes through the post.

Whoever is in is going to f**k the country up

I fought in 3 world wars so people like you could have the vote

You ungrateful bastard

Good, old (very!) man.

Quote: lofthouse @ 1st June 2024, 5:18 PM

This Tory MP claims so many Labour voters in his constituency plan to vote for him instead- he has put this on his website and promotions

https://nitter.poast.org/pic/orig/media%2FGO-WOvaW4AAj1Aj.jpg

Clearly he thinks voters will vote for him by mistake thinking he is the Labour candidate!

Tories - lying, cheating corrupt scumbags to the very end!

This cheating piece of shit is now under police investigation

Ed Davey is certainly doing a lot of capering on the campaign trail.

Yeah he's like a kid on his summer hols!

He's got it easy.
He's going to get a few seats extra - through no fault of his own, but which he'll take credit for.
And he won't have the hassle of running the country.
Win/Win.

I long for the next PMQ'S

Speaker :

"And now, the leader of the opposition- Mr Ed Davey"

😗

Won't happen, sadly.

I miss Ed Miliband. Bring him back! His biggest scandal was eating a bacon sandwich weirdly. Good times.

Ed will be minister for energy?

Meanwhile today....

"Whe you're luck isn't in, it isn't in - it is pure coincidence, apparently, that just as Rishi Sunak sat down with the cameras in Henley, a Lib Dem boat carrying Daisy Cooper, the party's deputy leader, sailed past behind him in a mass of orange placards."

Stop the boats!!

Quote: Lazzard @ 3rd June 2024, 2:10 PM

Won't happen, sadly.

Unlikely indeed

But this new poll out today predicts Lib Dems to have more seats than the tories

51 seats for Lib , 24 for Tory

10K sample. Labour leads by 26%. Tied-lowest Conservative % with Sunak as PM.
Westminster VI (31/5 - 2/6):
Labour 46% (-)
Conservative 20% (-3)
Reform 14% (+1)
Lib Dem 10% (+1)
Green 5% (-) SNP 2% (-1)
Other 2% (-1)
Changes +/- 25-27/5

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