F**king Hell! C**tgtasulazioningd to Gappy for winking. PM me with a subject for next wank please. Meanwhilst...
Gappy - 3
Otterfox - 1
Next topic: Ads (chosen by Otterfox)
Leg closed: 30.11.22
Runners are nowt...
Position Score Name
1 3 Me, Gappy
2 2 Otterfox
(Hopefully everyone can see that, I am a bit of an idiot regarding such things)
LATIN LOVER
LECTURE THEATRE.
PONCE Good evening, ladies and gentlemen and that one, and may I urge you to purchase my new bollockbuster, 'Get Latin The F**k Out Of Our F**king Language'? Oops, pardon my French. Yes, it truly is my alter ego's verbatim magnum opus, earing a C**tabrigian summa cum laude consensus from Oxonians, plebs and vox populi et cetera and vice versa. Ergo, this ad hoc, ad infinitum, ad lib libellus is a boner fide caveat per se for any de jure (non ex gratia), major, compos mentis status quo - mea culpa, erratum, persona non grata: de facto, a sine qua non per capita per diem. So caveat emptor, id est: carpe diem excelsior, alma mater, alea acta est (acta, non verba), et Carthago delecta est, et tu, Brute? Aut Caesar aut nihil: Caesar non supra grammaticos but veni, vidi, vinci. This ad hominem deus ex machina in loc sui generis of coitus interruptus non me vexat pede. Habeas corpus, ex nihilo nil fit, nemo saltat sobrius, but pecunia non olet, plenus venter non studet libenter, barba non facit philosopham and de gustibus non est disputandum. Ita vero, lupus in fabula, memento vivere! Risus abundat in ore stultorum, amor vincit omnia, amor et melle et felle est fecundissimus, hei mihi! Quod nullis amor est medicabilis herbis...
VOICE Ah, shut up! What've the Romans ever done for us?
One-liners (I think the wording is original, but correct me if I'm wrong):
* You never see Yachts adverts on ITV, have they cancelled sponsor-ship ?
* I've not seen a wig promo since they banned false advertising.
* Why do I keep hearing adverts about erectile dysfunction ?
* Had a Thai Massage advertised as a "Happy ending", I end up crying.
TELEVISION ADVERTISMENT
CLOSE UP OF A MAN'S HANDS HOLDING A FISHING ROD
VOICEOVER: Fishing.
CAMERA BEGINS ZOOMING OUT
V.O: You might as well do it in a bucket.
THE MAN IS INDOORS, SITTING ON AN OFFICE CHAIR, FISHING IN A BUCKET
V.O: Only £39.95! Order before the 31st December, and we'll throw in a free spare bucket! For just an extra £10! While stocks last!
MAN WITH THE FISHING ROD TURNS TO THE CAMERA: And guess what? Your statutory rights ARE affected! At last, eh, viewers? (laughs)
I've been thinking of starting a sketch podcast set in a 1930s radio station. I've started writing some material, mainly ads for now. I haven't really thought of the logistics of whats involved but it's something that I'm definitely interested in doing.
Anyway, each episode will start with 'this episode is sponsored by - cue product ad.
RADIO PRESENTER:
Hello and welcome to the show. Before we get down to business we have to take care of a little business. We've always made it a point of principle of not having ads on this show but when we realised the huge economic potential of having them we abruptly blunted the sharp edges of those principles. As such, I'm delighted to say that this show is sponsored by Gerhards Gloves...
ADVERT:
How often have you had to pick up things or twist something that's (METAL SCRAPING SOUND) ouch to the fingular area? I know I have. That's why when I'm reaching for something like that - I don't. Not until my Gerhards Gloves are stuffed with hands; preferably mine.
Gerhards steel toe-capped gloves offers a unique layer of protection from things. Built, crafted, assembled, fabricated and made in Austria by Austrians, these gloves are as robust, adaptable and sudden as a yodelling cow in a summer hill. So whether you're on a mountain, in a mountain or of a mountain, make sure that the hills are alive with the sound of gloves. Preferably yours an preferably Gerhards. Gerhards Gloves - show your hands some glove love.....gloves sold separately.
PRESENTER:
We've only gone and done it now. There's reports of a lot of people's feet acting up because we only mentioned hands. To make up for not doing anything wrong but mainly to get more money, here's another ad...
ADVERT:
Are your feet gone wrong? Is every step you take a constant disappointment? Well sockman Slim Flipman has done it again!
Through years of rigourous growth, Slim Flipman became a man. But what is relevant is that Slim spent many months living in a shoe and here he garnered a unique knowledge in the ways of the foot. Noticing a subtle crack of the ankle, a twitch of a toe, even an ingrow of a toenail. Things that would go unnoticed to the unfooted eye. His answer - Slim Flipmans under socks. Yes that's right, underwear for your feet.
Crafted with love and wool each and every undersock is a one stop sock to comfort. So whether you're walking somewhere, running somewhere, jogging somewhere, trotting, hopping or skipping, standing somewhere, sitting somewhere or just doing nothing somewhere. Slim Flipmans undersocks offer unique underpant technology. They come in boxer briefs, y fronts, French, hipster, frilly, thongs or just plain rotten ones.
Each and every pair comes with the Slim Flipman guarantee that if you're not completely happy he'll throw in a third undersock absolutely free. Now where else would you get an offer like that!? Hahaha thanks Slim!
You've tried the rest which wasn't an undersock now try what is an undersock, Slim Flipmans undersocks - you'll be darned happy you did!
Master socket Slim Flipman - the socks that built a nation.
I vote Ottersocks.
Sec**ted.
I think they're all really funny/good/etc..., but as Otterfox tried a different style/approach this week, I'll go Otterfox.
I liked Gappys idea so tis him for me this week.
I liked Michael's the most, but it's so similar to one his recent entries about French loan phrases, that I feel I can't really award the bays. Otterfox the best of the rest.