POLICE
I'm sorry sir but these three people need to be removed from this plane
BORDER FORCE
Back off constable you're dealing with 'Border Force'
POLICE
I'm a Superintendent and you're clearly an agency worker
BORDER FORCE
I'm still 'Border Force'! They told me I could say that at the induction morning.
POLICE
I'm sure they did
BORDER FORCE
Anyway, this has got nothing to do with the courts! these three want to go, ask them!
POLICE
They only thing I'm asking them is to leave this plane!
BORDER FORCE
If we don't take off, I won't get paid. I'll actually be losing money! I had to give a twenty quid deposit for my boots and this Hi Viz jacket
POLICE
Could you move out the way please sir so we can take them off
BORDER FORCE
Why don't you ask them? They'll tell you that they're more than happy to go
MAN 1
We don't mind honest
MAN 2
I don't feel forced at all
MAN 3
It's a nice plane
BORDER FORCE
See there's no problems here officer
POLICE
That's because they're from Rwanda. We caught them on the CCTV sneaking onto the plane
MAN 1
It was the only flight with no queue, I'm in work in the morning
MAN 2
It's the only direct one they have
MAN 3
We're getting free sandwiches and they have the Shawshank Redemption as the inflight movie
POLICE
I'm sorry you will have to leave the plane
SFX TEXT PING
BORDER FORCE
Look at that text its off Pritti Patel in person. She said they can fly for free as long as they bang on the windows as we take off, so it looks forced on TV news
PILOT
Can you all get off! This flights been cancelled. We've been hired to fly in 400 tons of lard to cover the shortage of Sunflower oil
