Press Conference

I'm not sure whether to lop off the second scene of this sketch, as I added it after writing the first. It's written for the stage.

An army General is facing the press.

Journalist 1
So what is your operation trying to achieve General?

General
Well, we will certainly do our best to neutralise the opposition.

Journalist 2
So what are you trying to do General?

General
We're trying to confiscate our enemy's capacity to inflict harm.

Journalist 3
But what are you actually trying to do General?

General
Well, we're uhh...trying to bring out target's back to their original molecular form. We're trying...to put a barrier of death between us and our foes. We're trying to..

All journalist's
But what are you going to do General?

General
WE'RE GOING TO KILL PEOPLE....OKAY?....

Journalist 1
How do you hope to achieve this General?

General
Well, we will operate to the fullest extent of our ability and our target's existence.

The lights dim, and then come back up. The journalists and the General have left, and the General's wife stands on the stage. The general enters, looking forlorn.

Wife
Honey, you're home!

General
Yes..there must occasionally be tactical withdrawal.

Wife
Would you like a coffee?

General
There is always the need to refuel and rearm.

Wife
Y'know..later I was wondering whether later we could..

The wife whispers into the General's ear, and his face breaks into a grin.

General
But of course, it is paramount that advances must be made.

I thought that the second scene works fine. I liked it. Good stuff.

Thankamayou

Does anyone with experience know that this (or at least part of this) is the kind of thing that Newsrevue would be at all interested in?

Doesn't need second scene IMHO. It's either about someone being forced to say what they actually mean (1st half)- OR it's about someone who can ONLY speak in euphamism and 'spin'speak', so much so that he brings it home with him (2nd half).
Liked dialogue in first section, well-paced etc

Hmm..I like continually developing sketches so I tend to disregard the gaping (and jumping up and down, waving and holding signs saying 'I'm a flaw') flaws.

I send Newsrevue all sorts that could be considered topical since they performed my Tattoo.

I just wonder if maybe you could stretch it out - a little bit!

I liked the first half. Although I thought the second half was a totally different sketch, and it wasn't as good, it could work as a twist in a sketch show to show the same character at home later. But I think they need to be separate entities.