A GROUP OF PEOPLE ARE SITTING ON CHAIRS ARRANGED IN A CIRCLE.
GROUP LEADER : Good evening everybody. Now we have a new member tonight. Would you like to introduce yourself.
DAVE (STANDS UP): Hello - my name is Dave and I am (GULPS)- a musical snob.
GROUP LEADER (STANDING UP) : Well done Dave.
HE STARTS CLAPPING AND EVERYONE ELSE STANDS UP AND CLAPS.
THEY ALL SIT DOWN.
GROUP LEADER : So Dave. What is your main problem with?
DAVE : Well - groups who don't play any instruments.
GROUP LEADER : Like Bananarama or the Shangrila Las?
DAVE : Oh no. I've got no problem with them. They're girl groups.
GROUP LEADER : The Temptations or the Four Tops?
DAVE : Oh no. They're black.
GROUP LEADER : So who do you have a problem with then?
DAVE : Boylife or Westzone.
GROUP LEADER : That is a bit snobbish.
DAVE : Oh - and Take Twat.
GROUP LEADER : Yes - you've got a point there. They are a waste of space.So who do you like?
DAVE : Mainly English groups, the Kinks, Small Faces, the Who, the Move, Yes, Curved Air, the Faces, Mott the Hoople, the Damned, Echo & the Bunnymen, New Order, Teardrop Explodes, Hard Fi, the Editors.
GROUP LEADER : So quite varied then. But what's wrong with American groups?
DAVE : Well it's a bit like sitcoms really. Only a few. Santana, Killers, Love.
GROUP LEADER : Well maybe you are a bit of a snob.
DAVE : Dance music's OK - but to DANCE to - not listen to at home.
GROUP LEADER : So - where exactly is this sketch going?
DAVE : I've no idea really - but I just had to make a confession.
