A man is in hospital after having a horrific car crash. His face is bandaged & he is on a drip. Woman walks in & sits at his bed. She takes his hand.
Woman
Oh honey I was so worried. Atleast you are alive.
Man
(Hoarse Voice) But I am badly scared especially my face..
Woman
I will still love you & every inch of your crinkly frazzled skin. You will still be my Boo. My little Burny Boo.
Man
They think my spine snapped too. I wont be able to walk again ever.
Woman
Oh honey I will still love you even though your legs will dangle uselessly. With no point to them whatsoever. You will still be my Boo. My little Burny Parapalaboo.
Man
I lost all my fingers honey. No more playtime with my magic fingers.
Woman
Oh Babe that’s alright we can play stumpitty stumpy with your magic stumps.
Man
Sweetheart I lost 3 inches of Mr Big Boy & I don’t even know if he still works.
Woman
Well that’s why I am here. Lets try it out shall we.
WOMAN LIFTS UP HER SKIRT. CLIMBS ON TOP OF THE MAN & STARTS TO GRIND ON HIM.
Man
Can you feel anything. I can, I can feel something.
Woman
Honestly, no not a thing. But honey as long as you feel something that’s okay. After all I can still hold onto those ears & ride your crispy face.
Man
Honey I am sorry but I lost my ears.
DR WALKS IN.
DR
Mrs Mason, this is not your husband. He is two rooms down.
Woman
(Shouts) BUSY!!!
Dr
Do you not understand Mrs Mason, This is not Mr Mason. Your husband is waiting for you two rooms down.
Woman
Yey I know, I am working my way there as fast as I can. You said have some patients so here I am...
Hertfordshire hun. Where all the naughty girls congregate. Come on down. There is beer & wine in the fridge!!!!! 
