Night-time in an urban cul- de- sac the entire scene is lit up with spotlights on top of police vans aimed at a house. The top windows of the house are open, and the curtains are blowing outward.
There is a host of police vehicles and police snipers behind cars aiming their guns at the house. There is also a TV camera crew.
An inspector is standing with a bull horn in his hands when a further patrol screeches into the close and a priest gets out and walks over to the inspector.
Priest
Your officers said it was urgent
Inspector
We have a poltergeist on our hands father, its taken two kids hostage and we need your help
The priest goes as white as a sheet.
Priest
What do you mean help?
Inspector
Could you go in with your bible and holy water and exorcise it, we've shot it eight times already and its only made it stronger, it could kill them kids any minute
Priest
I haven't got any holy water on me nor my bible, your lot nearly dragged me here
Inspector
We could make you a crucifix out the fence post and you could at least cite bible verses
The priest looks horrified and lights, up a ciggy as he speaks very frankly.
Priest
I'm going to level with you Inspector I don't even know any verses. I've sort of been winging it if the truth be known. Most of my bible knowledge is from Charlton Heston films and the odd Victor Mature B movie
Inspector
Well you're going in anyway those kids are in danger
Priest
Am I f**k!
The Inspector indicates toward a police marksman who points his rifle at the priest
Inspector
You're going in to fight that poltergeist, once it sees a priest and detects your faith it will let the hostages go
The Priest is in bits
Priest
I haven't got any faith, it will rip me to bits, I only joined the church so that I could mess with the kids in the choir!
The inspector smiles and speaks to a camera crew
Inspector
Did you get that?
TV MAN
Every word sir
Inspector
Ok lads take him to the station and process him with the others
Two constables grab the Priest and bundle him into a van
The Inspector gets on his bullhorn
Inspector
Ok people get back into your positions and let's crank that fan up and use the red light, shall we? This next one's an archbishop, so we really need to up our game to nick him.
Inside the house a police officer is standing next to a giant fan he flicks a switch, and the fan goes even faster as the curtains blast out the window even more. Another police officer then turns on a large red light and waves yellow sheet of plastic over it making a flame effect
BULLHORN
That looks brilliant lads.
