SCENE JEWELLERS SHOP.
The Jeweller is putting large amounts of cash into a safe
A man walks in wearing a cat mask carrying a large rock
The jeweller sees the man and smiles then speaks fondly
JEWELLER
Hello,my names Trevor I own this shop how can help you?
CATMAN
Hello Trevor my names Mittens and I want to sell you this, it's the biggest diamond in the world and you're the biggest diamond expert in the world.
The man hands the rock to the jeweller
JEWELLER
Am I? Well, I do know quite a bit about them and its certainly heavy enough Mittens I'll give you that
CATMAN
And here's a letter off the queen.
The Catman puts a sheet of paper down, on it is written in block capitals
TREVOR THIS IS THE BEST DIAMOND IN THE WORLD AND I KNOW BECAUSE I'M THE QUEEN
The Jeweller reads it in awe and walks over to the safe and takes every banknote out of it and puts it on the counter
JEWELLER
You're in luck I've had the best St Valentines week ever, I'll give you half a million in cash!
The Catman shakes the jewellers, hand and then puts the money in a fold up bag he has in his pocket and leaves. As he does so he turns and smiles as he sees the jeweller holding the rock up to the light and smiling.
SCENE BLOCK OF FLATS
The Catman gets into the lift and takes his mask off and presses the button for the 12th floor
SCENE FLAT
A young man in a Starbucks uniform is sat at a table drinking vodka neat. There is a knock on the door and the young man speaks out nervously.
YOUNG MAN
Who is it?
VOICE
Its me open the door
The young man opens the door and the Catman comes in and looks at the empty vodka bottle. He then walks into the kitchen and puts the kettle on.
CATMAN
Where do you keep your coffee?
The young points to the cupboard as he speaks
YOUNG MAN
I don't want a coffee I'm around it all day
CATMAN
You're no good to me drunk
YOUNG MAN
It's my nerves, according to news on the web he gave you half a million
The Catman smiles as he gives the young man his coffee
CATMAN
He most certainly did
The young man drinks the coffee as he speaks
YOUNG MAN
So do I still get half? After all it was me who told you how much he loves cats and that he always talks about the Queen
CATMAN
And you were right
But the young man is clearly worried
YOUNG MAN
But what if he never finished the latte that I delivered? What if there's some left and they test it and find the LSD
CATMAN
Don't you worry they won't,
YOUNG MAN
But what if they do and they connect the dots, we could get years
CATMAN
We won't
YOUNG MAN
I wish I had your confidence, you're the cleverest person I know, but god your coffee takes awful
CATMAN
What about you, the dark horse
YOUNG MAN
What about me
CATMAN
Last week when you said you could fly and I never believed you and then you flew around the park.
YOUNG MAN
Yes that's right I did didn't I, that was amazing I love flying
CATMAN
Why don't you fly down to the shop and get some more vodka and we'll have a party!
YOUNG MAN
Brilliant idea I'll be two seconds
The young man walks out onto the balcony and dives off it. As he does so and the Catman goes into the kitchen and retrieves a small bottle marked Liquid LSD with a skull and cross bones logo from behind the kettle and puts it in his pocket and walks out the flat smiling.
