A man is standing in the dock of the court.
JUDGE
Mr Peterson you have been found guilty by a jury of transporting twenty five illegal immigrants across the channel in your fishing boat for gain. Have you anything to say in your defence before I pass sentence?
MAN
I was doing my best for Britain
JUDGE
This seems at odds with your actions, as according to the prosecution your Facebook page was awash with your pleas for people to vote Brexit and as the jury was shown you yourself were photographed with Nigel Farage on several occasions?
MAN
He's a great man, anyway where do you think that I was going to spend the money? That had to be good for the country!
JUDGE
Ahh the £20,000 you were paid, given how you earned it I doubt you intended to pay tax on it
The defence lawyer jumps to her feet
LAWYER
In fairness your honour saying one thing politically then stealing from the taxpayer is what minsters are doing , so you can hardly blame my client for thinking that's how things are done these days?
JUDGE
Fair point, but that doesn't explain why he dragged his wife into his crimes
MAN
I told you she's completely innocent she was only with me to go food shopping in the Calais Tesco, there's nothing in our local one!
JUDGE
Mr Peterson it was my intention to send you to prison today but given your amazing use of irony, I am going to suspend that sentence for two years
MAN
I don't know what that is? But thank you, your honour