A Horseradish
Monday 16th August 2021 4:01pm [Edited]
8,475 posts
Answers
1. A rope is to a ladder what an electric chair is to......
A. A ladder
B. Those of restricted mobility
C. 5G
D. Incels
Only the most logical people will have recognised that this quiz cleverly starts with a curveball. The answer is "None of the above - I object to this question on insensitivity grounds - it is in terribly bad taste". Those who answered along these lines may proceed to the remaining answers. Everyone else - thank you so much for taking part but your IQ has failed you as it doesn't link up with whatever your sense of morality is.
2. It is better to be in a pet shop...
A. When in these Covid times there is no one else in there
B. If you are genuinely wanting to buy a goldfish
C. When going down the Millwall has just become boring
D. If you have just buried the hamster that used to live happily up your arse
Answer C : "When going down the Millwall has just become boring" because this question was drafted by the owners of Pets at Home Southwark which is based in the nearby Old Kent Road. But did your logical abilties enable you to spot this? If not, why not?
3. Which of these statements is from The Logical Song and most relevant to the 21st Century?
A. I am an Antichrist
B. One day at a time sweet Jesus
C. Please tell me what we've learned (Can you hear me)
D. Filthy (filthy...), nasty, Christina, you nasty (yeah)
Answer D : "Filthy (filthy...), nasty, Christina, you nasty (yeah)" - I just done an unlikely remix of the Supertramp classic with something a bit more modern, yeah? It's well sick.
4. Under the scientific Sage Committee advice in 2020, what were you allowed to touch?
A. Parliament
B. Your own face
C. Any envelope that came through your letterbox, even from the Inland Revenue
D. The genitalia of as many other people as you wanted
Answer D : "The genitalia of as many other people as you wanted" - people lawfully donned surgical gloves, powdered or not powdered, wore everything from masks to lower face coverings, washed their hands so often that all the skin came off their fingers, kept at least a six foot distance from anybody merely taking a book back to the library or heading off to buy millet for their fish. Hands were still in out of pants and knickers as if syphilis had never gone out of fashion and with the Government's full endorsement.
5. Which of the following tattoos in men is the most rational?
A. One which is on my knob and the ladies instinctively know it
B. Skull and crossbones combined with blood pouring out of a rottweiler's mouth
C. A delicate little butterfly - I prefer to use my 4 X 4 to gun down sodding society
D. One which will make me look a twit on my death bed but I shall not go gently in any night
Answer D : "One which will make me look a twit on my death bed but I shall not go gently in any night" - the key here is in the word "men" which is an all encompassing term for almost half the population. A only applies to heterosexual and bisexual men, and then mostly probably incels who lacking intimate touch in a relationship head to a tattoo parlour for it instead. B indicates an exceedingly low IQ and probably with more than a hint of "previous". C obviously refers only to women who are tanking their kids to school.
