British Comedy Guide

Sibling Rivalry

A teenager – Jack – is sitting in a middle-class living room, and is watching television. A slamming door is heard, and the sound of talking and laughter. A middle-aged woman enters the room.

Mother
Jack, we're back.

Jack grunts.

Mother
Aren't you interested to hear how your sister did?

Jack grunts again.

Mother
She did VERY well. The Judges were VERY impressed.

Jack
Well, I'm VERY glad to hear it.

Mother
You could at least be a little pleased for your sister.

Jack
Well, if I was a girl then I could be having modelling shoots as well.

Mother
Oh, Jack haven't you got over this jealousy. We took you to sport.

Jack
Until my foot broke, but then you wouldn't pay for my surgery did you. You paid for HER surgery.

Mother
Your sister has an exceptionally good body. That doesn't impact you does it? You're good at things too.

Jack
It's just not fair!

Jack runs out. Father enters and puts his arm round Mother.

Mother
Sometimes I think that we did the wrong thing forcing Mary into The Sun.

Father
Don't worry dear, she'll keep us in retirement for years to come.

I'm probably being thick - but I don't get this.
Am I missing something - 'cos it doesn't seem to go anywhere.
But don't listen to me - wait for a few more comments!

Well, I tried to make the humour more subtle by taking out all the jokes and comic situations.

I think you may be on to something. :)

The build up is good, but then it does fizzle a bit at the end.

Quote: Cinnamon @ October 29, 2007, 7:28 PM

Well, I tried to make the humour more subtle by taking out all the jokes and comic situations.

Laughing out loud

As Stu says, it kinda fizzles out. The joke is okay, but maybe you could loose a lot of it as still make the same joke.

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