A reporter is talking live track side to a 7 stone 5ft tall man in a nappy with a Brummie accent.
REPORTER
Can you believe that you're an actual gold medallist?
MAN
To be honest our kid I never even thought I'd even make the qualifiers, I thought I'd be back on the plane to Smethwick four days ago, so I'm chuffed to buggery!
REPORTER
Yes quite , so all that training paid off then?
MAN
To be honest our kid I never even trained. And don't tell anyone but this isn't even the proper kit it's a Huggies pull up.
REPORTER
That's amazing !
MAN
Not really, once I clocked that it was mostly overweight people that were worried about Covid I took the first plane over and registered for the event.
REPORTER
And you got a bye to the final because all the other competitors were isolating?
MAN
Yeah, and when that fat bastard I was supposed to have a ruck with in the final cried off, they gave me the medal. Well, I haven't got it yet. I'm getting it in the post you know because of the restrictions around ceremonies.
REPORTER
There you have it Derek Dawson from Smethwick is officially the world Sumo champion, now back to the studio