JUNK MAIL Page 2

Quote: gappy @ 22nd June 2021, 1:58 PM

It's a very simple audio pull-back gag, but I have no problem with those, so it's a yes from me.

My only proposal would be to take out elderly woman, make the rest of it a sort of angry monologue (without him addressing Maureen or anyone in particular). Then final line could be

YOUNG WOMAN: Oh, Mr Jones, did you wander in from the patio again? Come on, let's get you back next door. [BEAT] And do you recall whether you were you wearing any clothes when you left your house...?

A very small change, but it gives the ending a bit more character, perhaps.

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Nah!. Too wordy, the original was better.

The original looks fine to me and the ending was a surprise. If pushed for a suggestion, I'd interchange the placings of incontinence pants and Stannah stair lift in the dialogue to give a slicker lead into a slightly different but essentially the same final line.

ELDERLY MAN: Stannah Stair Lift!

[SLAP!]

ELDERLY MAN: Incontinence pants! I ask you, Maureen, do I look like a man who needs incontinence pants?

ELDERLY WOMAN: No. But you might want to put some some sort of trousers on. Also, I'm not Maureen. And you live next door.

Quote: Lazzard @ 22nd June 2021, 4:10 PM

Well spotted.
This sketch obviously doesn't apply to you.

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I wouldn't bet on it!